nicholas d's definitions

sticker shock

A condition resulting from seeing the total price of a bunch of items and realizing the damage is much greater than you originally expected. May cause a person to have second thoughts about the purchase.

I wanted to book your mom for 7 days of her "services," but when I realized the total came to $21, I got major sticker shock and decided to bail out.

by Nicholas D June 17, 2006

ghostwood

An episode of erectile dysfunction, specifically when your wood ghosts you.

Mildred: “Heavens to Betsy, Barney, I already took my dentures out and you’ve gone soft on me!”
Barney: "For Pete’s sake, woman, it’s just the old ghostwood again! Let me pop this Viagra and I’ll be rarin’ to go in a jiffy.”

by Nicholas D May 2, 2021

personperson

The politically correct term for a postal worker. The old offensive term is “mailman” but “mail” is sexist because it sounds like “male” and “man” is obviously sexist to female or non-binary postal workers.

Female postal worker: “I’m here to bring you your 25 annoying unsolicited Capital One offers for the day! Enjoy tossing these straight in the recycling bin.”
Guy: “Thanks! You’re my favorite mailwoman!”
Female postal worker: “Um...excuse me! Did you say MALE woman? I do not identify as male, you sexist pig.”
Guy: “Heavens to Betsy! How could I be so insensitive? I mean you’re my favorite personperson.”
Female postal worker: “That’s much better.”

by Nicholas D March 21, 2020

bake like a challah and leaven

to leave your current location

The uncooked bread got sick of walking around the bakery with all the other delicious, already-cooked breads, so he decided to bake like a challah and leaven.

by Nicholas D June 6, 2004

turkey bomb

A redneck version of a Jager bomb or car bomb. Involves dropping a shot of Wild Turkey bourbon into Shiner Bock beer.

Judd: "After y'ins had all those turkey bombs last night, Cletus was so hogged up that he passed out in the holler with his face in a cow patty."
Ricky: "Well I'll be darned if that ain't the craziest thing I've heard in a dog's age! Slap your grandma!"

by Nicholas D March 17, 2009

More head!

The rally cry of Morehead State University. Made famous during the 2009 NCAA basketball tournament (March Madness), when Morehead State was assigned to play Alabama State in the play-in game. Does not have anything to do with the "oral sex" definition of head.

(during Morehead St. vs. Alabama St. game)
Guy: "More head! More head! More head!"
Girlfriend: "What? Is once a week or so not enough for you? I can go down on you more if you want."
Guy: "What? I was just rooting for the team. Oh, you thought I meant it in that way? Well, now that you mention it...awwwww right!"

by Nicholas D March 17, 2009

blank space

A vagina (or anus if referring to a bottom gay guy) that is not in regular use. Coined by Taylor Swift.

Guy 1: "Did you 'write your name' in Taylor Swift's blank space last night?"
Guy 2: "Does that mean indabutt?"
Guy 1: "No, other hole."
Guy 2: "Then yes. And if you did mean the butt, then the answer would also be yes."
Guy 1: "You sure did 'tail her swift'!"
Guy 2: "Taylor Swift? Barely even know her!"

by Nicholas D January 17, 2016