nicholas d's definitions
A person whose main goal in life is to post first on an internet video, picture, or anything else that allows comments. Usually this person will simply post "First!" or something along those lines rather than making an insightful or meaningful comment. First posters, while they themselves often believe that they are serving a valuable purpose and/or accomplishing something by being first, are generally disrespected by much of the rest of the online community.
First poster #1: "I was the first to post on a Failblog picture on March 17, 2008. It ended up getting 946 comments."
Neil Armstrong: "Wow, that's really impressive. I was the first person to walk on the moon."
Babe Ruth: "I was the first player to hit 60 home runs in a season AND the first to hit 700 career home runs!"
Albert Einstein: "Well I was the first to prove the relationship between mass and energy as well as many other fundamental principles of the universe that had puzzled scientists since the beginning of time."
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I was the first to climb Mt. Everest."
First poster #1: "What did you do up there?"
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I put up a sign that said 'First!!!' and got my ass back down that mountain. It was freezing up there, dude!"
God: "Well I was the first to create, well, you know, everything in the entire universe."
First poster #2: "Sweet man, congrats. I was the first to comment on that YouTube video of the news anchor accidentally saying 'blow job' on live TV."
Neil Armstrong: "LOL! That video was classic! Epic fail!"
Other commenter: "Shut up, all of you!!! Nobody cares if you're first! Get a life!"
Neil Armstrong: "Wow, that's really impressive. I was the first person to walk on the moon."
Babe Ruth: "I was the first player to hit 60 home runs in a season AND the first to hit 700 career home runs!"
Albert Einstein: "Well I was the first to prove the relationship between mass and energy as well as many other fundamental principles of the universe that had puzzled scientists since the beginning of time."
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I was the first to climb Mt. Everest."
First poster #1: "What did you do up there?"
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I put up a sign that said 'First!!!' and got my ass back down that mountain. It was freezing up there, dude!"
God: "Well I was the first to create, well, you know, everything in the entire universe."
First poster #2: "Sweet man, congrats. I was the first to comment on that YouTube video of the news anchor accidentally saying 'blow job' on live TV."
Neil Armstrong: "LOL! That video was classic! Epic fail!"
Other commenter: "Shut up, all of you!!! Nobody cares if you're first! Get a life!"
by Nicholas D July 27, 2009
Get the first poster mug.A term describing a very unattractive, usually overweight skank. The person in question usually bears resemblance in size or appearance to a cetacean, ungulate, or similar animal, such as a hippo, orca, beluga, manatee, water buffalo, wildebeest, warthog, rhinoceros, or elephant.
"I necessarily didn't wanna bring home any sort of zoo creatures whatsoever. I mean these broads just probably smelled the food at the house." -Mike "The Situation" on "Jersey Shore"
I followed a smokin' hot girl back to her place from the club after pounding Jager bombs all night. By the morning though, she had magically transformed into some kind of enormous zoo creature. She looked so much like a wildebeest that I wasn't totally sure whether I was in her bedroom or the African savanna. I had no choice but to pull the old beat it and beat it move and be swayze before that disgusting swamp donkey awakened from her slumber.
I followed a smokin' hot girl back to her place from the club after pounding Jager bombs all night. By the morning though, she had magically transformed into some kind of enormous zoo creature. She looked so much like a wildebeest that I wasn't totally sure whether I was in her bedroom or the African savanna. I had no choice but to pull the old beat it and beat it move and be swayze before that disgusting swamp donkey awakened from her slumber.
by Nicholas D January 15, 2010
Get the zoo creature mug.Pete: "Yo dogg, want to go out and whack the 'cock around for awhile?"
Ken: "No thanks. I'm just going to hang out here and masturbate."
Ken: "No thanks. I'm just going to hang out here and masturbate."
by Nicholas D March 10, 2009
Get the whack the 'cock mug.In 2007, Barry Bonds* hit his 756th* home run, passing Hank Aaron for the all time record*. He also holds the single season record* of 73* home runs. Previous single-season record-holders include Mark McGwire*, Roger Maris, and Babe Ruth.
Bob: "Barry Bonds in the 1990's was a hell of a player, wasn't he?"
Joe: "Yeah, but his numbers pale in comparison to what Barry Bonds* put up."
Bob: "Who's that?"
Joe: "You know, that guy on the Giants with a watermelon-sized head who set all those records*."
Bob: "Barry Bonds in the 1990's was a hell of a player, wasn't he?"
Joe: "Yeah, but his numbers pale in comparison to what Barry Bonds* put up."
Bob: "Who's that?"
Joe: "You know, that guy on the Giants with a watermelon-sized head who set all those records*."
by Nicholas D January 16, 2008
Get the Barry Bonds* mug.Derogatory term for adjuncts, ingredients added to low-end beer to lower production costs. Examples are rice (used by Budweiser and Coors) and corn syrup (used by Miller). Adjunk detracts from the malty flavor and makes the final product more watery and more drinkable for people who don't like beer, yet less drinkable for people who do.
Steve: "Want something to drink?"
Kevin: "Got any beer?"
Steve: "I've got Budweiser, Miller, and Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA - which one do you want?"
Kevin: "WHAAAAAAT??? Are you crazy? Miller is cornier than a Color Me Badd video and Bud is more ricey than a tricked-out Honda Civic! Give me the Dogfish Head! You can drink that watery adjunk yourself!"
Kevin: "Got any beer?"
Steve: "I've got Budweiser, Miller, and Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA - which one do you want?"
Kevin: "WHAAAAAAT??? Are you crazy? Miller is cornier than a Color Me Badd video and Bud is more ricey than a tricked-out Honda Civic! Give me the Dogfish Head! You can drink that watery adjunk yourself!"
by Nicholas D March 28, 2008
Get the adjunk mug.A heterosexual female or homosexual male who is both obese and promiscuous. “Five guys” refers to the servicing of many men, and “burgers and fries” refers to all the fatty food they eat.
Brenda really makes the rounds whenever she’s not stuffing down cheese and charcuterie plates. She’s no stranger to the biscuit tin and no stranger to the sausage bin. Five guys burgers and fries!
by Nicholas D February 23, 2022
Get the five guys burgers and fries mug.Nick D: "Yo, let's go to Il Teatro."
Nicholas D: "Yeah, that place is pretty gatsby."
Joe: "Did you ever read The Great Gatsby?"
Bob: "Yeah, that book is hella gatsby. Thanks for being in it, Jay."
Jay Gatsby: "No problem guys. Alright, let's go get mad Hemingway. I'm jonesing for a Martini."
Nicholas D: "Yeah, that place is pretty gatsby."
Joe: "Did you ever read The Great Gatsby?"
Bob: "Yeah, that book is hella gatsby. Thanks for being in it, Jay."
Jay Gatsby: "No problem guys. Alright, let's go get mad Hemingway. I'm jonesing for a Martini."
by Nicholas D November 11, 2003
Get the gatsby mug.