nicholas d's definitions

wokewash

To shamelessly increase diversity, inclusion, and references to modern-day issues in a story to promote social justice. The opposite of whitewash.

Writer: “I’ve got a movie idea! Let’s do the moon landing, except all the astronauts are morbidly obese paraplegic non-binary Muslim Australian aboriginals!”

Director: “Brilliant! This is your best idea since we won that Oscar for ‘D-Dayversity’, the story about the Normandy invasion except with all autistic pansexual transgender Kalahari bushpeople. You can wokewash like nobody I’ve ever seen!”

by Nicholas D March 1, 2020

personperson

The politically correct term for a postal worker. The old offensive term is “mailman” but “mail” is sexist because it sounds like “male” and “man” is obviously sexist to female or non-binary postal workers.

Female postal worker: “I’m here to bring you your 25 annoying unsolicited Capital One offers for the day! Enjoy tossing these straight in the recycling bin.”
Guy: “Thanks! You’re my favorite mailwoman!”
Female postal worker: “Um...excuse me! Did you say MALE woman? I do not identify as male, you sexist pig.”
Guy: “Heavens to Betsy! How could I be so insensitive? I mean you’re my favorite personperson.”
Female postal worker: “That’s much better.”

by Nicholas D March 21, 2020

rone zone

A place where you’re at high risk of catching the coronavirus (short form: rona or rone).

Bro 1: “Hey brah wanna come to the Rose Garden party where we celebrate that Supreme Court lady biting the dust?”
Bro 2: “Nah brah that place is gonna be a total rone zone.”

by Nicholas D October 9, 2020

put the cap on the kitchen cleaner

shutting up your wife or female friend when she's out of line

Bob: "Man, my woman's been telling all my friends about how I've only got one testicle."
Joe: "Dog, you best put the cap on that kitchen cleaner!"

by Nicholas D October 6, 2003

fuckin'

A word used to indicate that a person or thing is cool. Should not be confused with the meaning of "fuck" relating to sexual intercourse.

Kenny Powers from Eastbound and Down (in honor of first birthday of son Toby): "So raise your glasses. As we say in Mexico, feliz compleanos to fuckin' Toby. Not to fuckin' him... like... he's cool. To fuckin' Toby."

by Nicholas D September 20, 2012

that's what she didn't say

A phrase that signifies that a person's prior remark could have been interpreted sexually while also insulting the (presumably male) speaker. Means that no woman would ever say such a thing about that person because it would be blatantly untrue. If the target of the comment is female, the related saying that's what he didn't say should be used.

Tim: "Hey man, check out big-ass bag of weed I scored from Sampson. Let's blaze this shit up."
Dave: "Wow, I've never seen one that big!"
Tim: "That's what she didn't say!"
Dave: "Ah, you got me there. I guess everyone knows I have a 3-inch penis."
Tim: "Well, I was just joking, but they do now!"

by Nicholas D December 18, 2012

that's what he didn't say

A phrase that signifies that a person's prior remark could have been interpreted sexually while also insulting the (female) speaker. Means that no man would ever say such a thing about that person because it would be blatantly untrue. If the target of the comment is male, the related saying that's what she didn't say should be used.

Emily: "OMG girl that shirt is totally fab! Can I try it on?"
Gina: "Sure," (under her breath) "good luck fitting into it, you cheese hog."
Emily: "What did you say?"
Gina: "Uh...I said I need to go feed the dog."
(Gina pretends to feed the dog while Emily gets changed)
Emily: "It's a bit of a tight fit."
Gina: "That's what he didn't say!"
Emily: "Oh no you di'int!"
Gina: "Bitch please! You get around more than an aircraft propeller, you ho-ass jersey chaser. Remember the night when you banged the entire Duke lacrosse team? I rest my case."
Emily: "Hmm...come to think of it, I really am a fat slut."
Gina: "Word to your mother."

by Nicholas D December 18, 2012