70's slang-term for a prolific pubic bush.
Inclusive of all genders and identifications.
The main requirement is a crotchal region neglected from grooming for months, whereupon entire ecosystems can be formed.
Jack Rebney: "And, they fit the diverse buyer needs of a very large... fern. What's the fuckin' line, Ken?"
Zach Galifianakis: "Between two Ferns"
An event that exceeds your known understanding of bad circumstances.
"Went to a craw-fish broil; some dog knocked over the broiler. `Twas shit-tastic."
"By shit-tastic, do you mean: 'An event that exceeds your known understanding of bad circumstances.'? That's what I get from the way you say it, anyways."
"Yeah basically."
"Oh, haha, cool. Man, that sucks! What'd you do?"
"Ducked out of there with my girl and her sister's dogs. They didnt knock the shit over, but they were there and I like looking after them."
"Ah that's cool, what breed are they?"
"I don't really know. Like jack russel something. no fucking idea."
"Haha, alright man. Nice chatting."
"yeah no prob. peace dude"
"l8r"
A person who is dense in the head - as if they have literally dipped their head in shit and now their senses are dulled.
They expect the rest of reality to match their stupid-ass vision.
Me: "I was going to take my drink with me, but that dipshit thought it would be better to enforce th rules."
Other Person: "Wow, what a dipshit: A person who is dense, and seems to have dipped their entire head into a pile of shit."
Me: "I know, right? That's some textbook shit right there."
A person who thinks nitpicking is a sign of intelligence, and is incredibly annoying even if incorrect.
Gets a serotonin blast to their skull anytime they correct someone for shit regular people choose to overlook.
A nitwit likes to track others behavior and critique them in a ninny, fuckwad manor.
NitWit: "You left your monitor on all night."
You: "How the fuck did you see my monitor in my bedroom?"
NitWit: "On my daily electricity checks I sweep all rooms, you know that"
You: "Listen, NitWit."
NitWit: "Whoa, that's like using the n-word."
You: "I know, I say that as well in my spare time."
When a woman, typically in her 20's, uses a stethoscope to check your vitals.
She usually is wearing a nursing costume and pretends to be a CNA, seeing if your breathing is regular.
Me: "I went to the doctor earlier. I saw a nurse, and then a doctor afterwards."
Chet: "Did the nurse get all up in your guts?"
Me: "No, we didn't fuck this time. She used her stethoscope to actually check my health level, which was nice since last time all we did was fool around and I had zero feedback on my health."
Chet: "Glad to hear everything is going well. How's the wife?"
Me: "Yeah still trying to move through things, not really an uphill battle anymore but the weeks have their grooves. Mondays, you know what I mean?"
Chet: "Haha, I do. Seriously. Shannon gets super bent out of shape Monday morning, always before breakfast. Like clockwork, she's enumerating her rants like Santa Claus' child counter overflows yearly. You can tell she's losing it."
Me: "I wasn't going to say anything but you already did!"
Chet: "Ahhhhh!!!"
Both aside:
'look let's get somewhere all these white motherfuckers can't hear us'
That thing she always said. When she knew she had nowhere else to run. All the loose ends were tied up, all the different variations of endings in the mystery novel were understood.
You: "Hey where'd that <incriminating object> come from?"
Her: "I dunno."
You: f'This reminds me of some shit from a movie. What the fuck, {self.girlfriend.name}?'
Her: "I dunno..."
You: "Nah we saw one like last week and it had this same incriminatory content and a suspect that had no real lines."
Her: "Oh yeah, I remember that."
