"Went to a craw-fish broil; some dog knocked over the broiler. `Twas shit-tastic."
"By shit-tastic, do you mean: 'An event that exceeds your known understanding of bad circumstances.'? That's what I get from the way you say it, anyways."
"Yeah basically."
"Oh, haha, cool. Man, that sucks! What'd you do?"
"Ducked out of there with my girl and her sister's dogs. They didnt knock the shit over, but they were there and I like looking after them."
"Ah that's cool, what breed are they?"
"I don't really know. Like jack russel something. no fucking idea."
"Haha, alright man. Nice chatting."
"yeah no prob. peace dude"
"l8r"
"By shit-tastic, do you mean: 'An event that exceeds your known understanding of bad circumstances.'? That's what I get from the way you say it, anyways."
"Yeah basically."
"Oh, haha, cool. Man, that sucks! What'd you do?"
"Ducked out of there with my girl and her sister's dogs. They didnt knock the shit over, but they were there and I like looking after them."
"Ah that's cool, what breed are they?"
"I don't really know. Like jack russel something. no fucking idea."
"Haha, alright man. Nice chatting."
"yeah no prob. peace dude"
"l8r"
by midinerd April 01, 2019
When a woman, typically in her 20's, uses a stethoscope to check your vitals.
She usually is wearing a nursing costume and pretends to be a CNA, seeing if your breathing is regular.
She usually is wearing a nursing costume and pretends to be a CNA, seeing if your breathing is regular.
Me: "I went to the doctor earlier. I saw a nurse, and then a doctor afterwards."
Chet: "Did the nurse get all up in your guts?"
Me: "No, we didn't fuck this time. She used her stethoscope to actually check my health level, which was nice since last time all we did was fool around and I had zero feedback on my health."
Chet: "Glad to hear everything is going well. How's the wife?"
Me: "Yeah still trying to move through things, not really an uphill battle anymore but the weeks have their grooves. Mondays, you know what I mean?"
Chet: "Haha, I do. Seriously. Shannon gets super bent out of shape Monday morning, always before breakfast. Like clockwork, she's enumerating her rants like Santa Claus' child counter overflows yearly. You can tell she's losing it."
Me: "I wasn't going to say anything but you already did!"
Chet: "Ahhhhh!!!"
Both aside: 'look let's get somewhere all these white motherfuckers can't hear us'
Chet: "Did the nurse get all up in your guts?"
Me: "No, we didn't fuck this time. She used her stethoscope to actually check my health level, which was nice since last time all we did was fool around and I had zero feedback on my health."
Chet: "Glad to hear everything is going well. How's the wife?"
Me: "Yeah still trying to move through things, not really an uphill battle anymore but the weeks have their grooves. Mondays, you know what I mean?"
Chet: "Haha, I do. Seriously. Shannon gets super bent out of shape Monday morning, always before breakfast. Like clockwork, she's enumerating her rants like Santa Claus' child counter overflows yearly. You can tell she's losing it."
Me: "I wasn't going to say anything but you already did!"
Chet: "Ahhhhh!!!"
Both aside: 'look let's get somewhere all these white motherfuckers can't hear us'
by midinerd March 19, 2019
A person who thinks nitpicking is a sign of intelligence, and is incredibly annoying even if incorrect.
Gets a serotonin blast to their skull anytime they correct someone for shit regular people choose to overlook.
A nitwit likes to track others behavior and critique them in a ninny, fuckwad manor.
Gets a serotonin blast to their skull anytime they correct someone for shit regular people choose to overlook.
A nitwit likes to track others behavior and critique them in a ninny, fuckwad manor.
NitWit: "You left your monitor on all night."
You: "How the fuck did you see my monitor in my bedroom?"
NitWit: "On my daily electricity checks I sweep all rooms, you know that"
You: "Listen, NitWit."
NitWit: "Whoa, that's like using the n-word."
You: "I know, I say that as well in my spare time."
You: "How the fuck did you see my monitor in my bedroom?"
NitWit: "On my daily electricity checks I sweep all rooms, you know that"
You: "Listen, NitWit."
NitWit: "Whoa, that's like using the n-word."
You: "I know, I say that as well in my spare time."
by midinerd March 31, 2019
Janice: Hey, thanks for pointing out that my family died.
Mark: Don't get all butthurt about it.
Janice: You mean 'hurt' ? Emotions aren't just a butt, you know.
Mark: Have you double-checked?
Janice: I double-checked your mom with my face last night.
Mark: Don't get all butthurt about it.
Janice: You mean 'hurt' ? Emotions aren't just a butt, you know.
Mark: Have you double-checked?
Janice: I double-checked your mom with my face last night.
by midinerd September 22, 2019
A person who is dense in the head - as if they have literally dipped their head in shit and now their senses are dulled.
They expect the rest of reality to match their stupid-ass vision.
They expect the rest of reality to match their stupid-ass vision.
Me: "I was going to take my drink with me, but that dipshit thought it would be better to enforce th rules."
Other Person: "Wow, what a dipshit: A person who is dense, and seems to have dipped their entire head into a pile of shit."
Me: "I know, right? That's some textbook shit right there."
Other Person: "Wow, what a dipshit: A person who is dense, and seems to have dipped their entire head into a pile of shit."
Me: "I know, right? That's some textbook shit right there."
by midinerd April 01, 2019
An object you place in front of your door. ffs
Not a person you treat as if they were a doormat. You know, walkin' all over 'em and makin em feelike shitlike WHAT?
You gonna do that?
A doormat is simply an object placed before an entryway into someone's home. It is NEVER a human being that is treated like some planar object you can just walk all over, wipe your shoes off on, and then enter into the person's home I can't even get into. I can't get in there, because - hint hint - I'm a fucking doormat. So sure, I'll stay out here, glad I could be of help.
Not a person you treat as if they were a doormat. You know, walkin' all over 'em and makin em feelike shitlike WHAT?
You gonna do that?
A doormat is simply an object placed before an entryway into someone's home. It is NEVER a human being that is treated like some planar object you can just walk all over, wipe your shoes off on, and then enter into the person's home I can't even get into. I can't get in there, because - hint hint - I'm a fucking doormat. So sure, I'll stay out here, glad I could be of help.
by midinerd March 19, 2019