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michael foolsley's definitions

grocery store etiquette

self explanatory

keep your fucking cart away from the cold case so I can get to it, you idiot!
keep the strait jacket on your crotch fruit!! -control the 'howling' and running wild, arms flailing!!!
don't stop in the MIDDLE of an aisle or pedestrian walkway to 'ponder' -get fucking moving!
-get fucking moving, period!!! this includes haggling over two cents from a fucking coupon!! (-yah, but the circular says....)
laura mcfoolsis thought it was all about her, she had no concept of grocery store etiquette!!
by michael foolsley December 8, 2009
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oral defecation

sometimes i get confused (especially while drinking!!) and a turd comes out of my mouth instead of my buttle (butt hole)!!!
my mouth got confused with my buttle, (butt hole) i had an oral defecation
by michael foolsley December 20, 2009
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hydraulic angst

MALE; -need for sex, extreme worry over potentiality, probability of "flooding someones' tubing"
don blue got the pickup bar re-buff, and it was gasoline on the flames of his hydraulic angst!!

cindy was 'playing' billy's hydraulic angst!!

the escort helped drive off big ed's hydraulic angst!!
by michael foolsley May 16, 2011
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soul phone

cell phone *the precious telecommunication device many people CANNOT be without for two seconds!, -connected to their innermost soul* -talking about a MIGHTY IMPORTANT MAN/WOMAN here!!
gina called her soul phone jesus, because it was her savior!

he reached for his soul phone while pumping a lump!

he answered his soul phone while driving 80mph
by michael foolsley December 8, 2009
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surrey on

go somewhere, travel -(from the ancient song 'surrey down to the stone soul picnic', written by laura nyro (R.I.P.) and performed by the insipid 5th dimension)

a surrey is a 4-wheeled 2-seated horse-drawn carriage
lets' surrey on down to the bluntsman's and procure some 'goodness'

i'm going to surrey on over to jane's for a 'taste'
by michael foolsley December 27, 2009
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new slaver

the new breed of 'plantation owner' and/or business'person' who takes full advantage of those with 'lesser' social status and education in order to keep their business maximizing profits!!

one would THINK by offering a decent wage AND benefits, it would prove to be a more intelligent move as regards to worker performance as well as loyalty, but this is a completely foreign concept to those who pray to the 'church of the greenback', i.e. the 'folding greens'!!
that business won't pay a decent living wage, practically expecting employees to PAY THEM to work there!! (response:) yeah, i know all about it!! i'm super-tired of these new slavers!!

john started his business and appreciated those who helped him build it into something of substance, he was happy to share the profits, made plenty for himself, and had no desire to be a new slaver.

jane hated to go to the vertical plantation everyday, to work for those new slavers
by michael foolsley September 14, 2013
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pick-up bar

gathering place for humans where emphasis is placed on alcohol, as well as the "zipless fuck", or 'extreme' 'sport' fucking.
took home a 'chick' from the pick-up bar, but later discovered a cock and balls!

lets' surrey down to the pick-up bar and 'shop' some fresh meat!!

caught the crabs from a pick-up bar chick!
by michael foolsley August 13, 2010
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