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michael foolsley's definitions

custodial care

industrial clean-up after after supremly messy evacuation, what is done to your mama at the nursing home, what janitor or 'sanitation engineer' does...
ah blowed me a big flop, now i need custodial care!!
my poor dead, grandma needed a lot of custodial care
this dung is going to require custodial care
by michael foolsley November 29, 2009
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Jesus straps

"hook and loop" straps (note: the originals are known as "velcro")

these straps contain and manage cords, cables, ropes...e.t.c. , keeping them from catching on anything and everything,
or transforming themselves into a tangled mass! (or wrapping themselves around "the baby's" NECK !!)

the natural law is: when carrying ANYTHING (like a tv) the dangling cord will catch itself solidly on something, where one has to 'break stride' to get it free. this would NEVER happen in 5,000 tries at throwing the cord at the offending catch point! it ONLY catches when carrying something unsecured!
be right with you! , godda find a way to contain this cord! (response:) try this Jesus strap !

when setting up the PA, the previously attached Jesus straps saved my black ass !

what kind of idiot doesn't secure a cord ?? -Jesus straps your savior, infant!
by michael foolsley April 14, 2022
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fresh faced

the well scrubbed, perfect skin types, those with somewhat of a 'glow' emanating from their skin. usually women
she was so fresh faced and seemingly innocent, it would have been hard to imagine the grinding she was capable of administering!!

even behind bars, her fresh faced look defied reality!
by michael foolsley January 14, 2010
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sic the dogs

call the police to apply extreme unction (legal and sometimes involving a 'cage') to a situation
i'm going to sic the dogs on that bastard with the loud muffler!

lets' sic the dogs on those teens 'socking it home' in the abandoned mcfoolsley property!!

lets' sic the dogs on those bastard 'pot' heads!!
by michael foolsley December 31, 2009
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here and now

most important topic, work, project, idea, concept, etc; in 'queue' to be addressed immediately!!
i wanted to 'crack that crotch' HERE AND NOW!

lets' discuss that topic here and now!!

addressing that here and now would be wise!!
by michael foolsley January 8, 2010
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hit the chipfem

have sex with the gps woman
my buddy wants to hit the chipfem
by michael foolsley November 25, 2009
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dungs

FOOD -the destiny of food, what food will become!, you know this because you are a psychic, a fortune teller. you've eaten, waited; then deffed! -you've done the math! you're good with equation/s!!
just got merged! -i'm heading out to foolsley's to get me some damn dungs!!
want to go out and get some dungs with me?
might as well put my sandwich in the toilet bowl...-dungs!
by michael foolsley February 1, 2010
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