barking spider

See chocolate starfish: Term used to describe the shit eye, brown eye, bunghole, ass hole, etc. Resembles a spider when the tissue is crinkled as seen on a woman and barks when she farts.

Her pussy tasted like shit, so he stuffed his tongue in her barking spider.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

brewers droop

State of male flacidity or temporary impotence due to the mass consumption of alcohol.

I had her in bed and we were about to get our freak on, but I had brewers droop and had to fashion a strapon with a cucumber and duct tape.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

crab salad

Chowing the pootang of a dirty slut with crabs. Lice in the snatch. Crotch critter cafe. Eating at Smells diner. Varment in the cock compartment.

The unsuspecting cunilinguist tossed the whore's crab salad and thought the pests in his teeth was crushed pepper from dinner.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

clam shack

Slang term for brothel. word brothel word whorehouse

Hey let's go to Costa Rica and hit the clam shacks. Buy lots of rubbers. Don't drink the water or eat the crab salad.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

clam chowder

Term describing cheese like funk found about the labia (pussy lips) and vulva (pussy) of a chick a.k.a. campbell crotch... not mm mm good...

I was about to lick that shit until I saw she had a bad case of clam chowder.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

milking the cobra

The unaired episode of Animal Planet featuring a well hung man squeezing the white venom out of his pet pocket cobra. A term usually defining the process of stimulating a cobra's fangs to produce venom in the hope of deriving an anti-venum. Milking the cobra aside from reptiles and solo wanking can also be achieved with a partner preferably with the opposite sex, but to each their own.

Last night I blinded me Julie when she was milking the cobra. He was angry and spat in her eye. She is in guarded, but stable condition.

by Mattyboyee February 14, 2006

Lowes before Hos

When a man prefers the company of his tools, hotrod upgrades or home improvement projects over the company of women.

Hey honey, do you want to the mall? Nah, I gotta date with a case o' beer and my car upgrades. These aren't going to install themselves. You're always under you car! When are you going to spend time with me? Lowes before hos baby... Lowes before hos.

by mattyboyee January 18, 2009