longrider700's definitions

Stroller-tard

A parent manipulating or parking an S.U.V.-sized stroller with no regard to anyone trying to past or around them.

I was trying to get out of the grocery store but this f--ing Stroller-tard was blocking the exit.

by longrider700 May 20, 2016

Poverty Poser

Any young, apparently healthy, Twenty-something pan-handler that clearly isn't homeless and is looking to get some "Street cred". They usually return home to the suburbs after a day or so to bemoan their fate. Often dressed better than the people that give them handouts.

That Poverty Poser is a fraud! He's not homeless; he lives next door to me!

by longrider700 January 12, 2015

Ink Twinkie

An attention starved tattoo addict. They need to have as many tattoos as possible. Certain to live a life of regret when the middle age sag causes all that ink to look like greasy smears....

"I don't mean to be an Ink twinkie but I have a 2 inch area on my foot that I can squeeze another swallow of star on. Which one should I do?"

by longrider700 January 30, 2015

Patchoulian

Hippy wannabe marinated in Patchouli to mask the scent of pot smoking and disdain of hygiene. Often seen at vegan festivals, any protests and incense stores. Wears Birkenstocks and work socks in the coldest winter months.
Often interchangeable with Waspafarian.

That Patchoulian just tried to sell me a poem!

by longrider700 January 10, 2015

Bubble Fart

A moist fart that seems to creep out of your butt-cheeks like a bubble. Often feels like it lurks in the crack for a few moments.

The only thing worse than Swamp-ass is the Bubble Farts that come with it....

by longrider700 January 30, 2015

Cholera Cake

Another name for a Jamaican patty; a semi-sweet pastry filled with diarrhea-inducing mystery "meat".

I'm hurting today...
I had a dozen beers and two Cholera Cakes last night.

by longrider700 August 5, 2017

Dog Pimp

Any "homeless" person who trades on the pity of animal lovers by having a dog with them to illicit pity (for the dog) and therefore, more hand-outs. Forcing a helpless animal to squat in the inclement weather in order to support their manipulative owner.

I felt sorry for that Dog Pimp and gave him another 10 pound bag of dog food. He seems to go through one a day....

by longrider700 January 12, 2015