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little-miss can't do wrong's definitions

Family look best in photographs

An ancient Greek proverb noting the momentary lapse between discomfort and comedy, between estranged family members when a camera lens watches over them like the legacy they yearn to create for themselves.
Photographer: 'Say: Family look best in photographs'
Family: '? 0........1........2'
Photographer: (pauses until the family realise no ancient Greek proverb could involve a camera)........CLICK
Family: '........4........5........applause :)'
by little-miss can't do wrong September 10, 2011
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Export

An export is a pint sanctioned by a beloved local. Unlike a regular pint, this one is endorsed by the pub, who are entirely happy that you take it home with you, glass and all.

It must be noted that with power comes great responsibility. The glass must be returned within a 24 hour period, lest said privileges be revoked.

Should a member of staff ever question the loyalty of an export beneficiary, his/her door keys must be offered to whomever asks, with an invitation to check said home for unreturned glasses. If a single pub glass is found, said folk be barred for a month.
You: 'What time are you closing tonight?'
Host: 'In twenty minutes'
You: 'May I have a pint now… and an export for later?'
Host: 'Certainly'
by little-miss can't do wrong September 9, 2011
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EntrepreNERD

An enterprising individual, whose superior technical ability often clouds the presentation to 'normal people' of an otherwise inspiring solution to a frequently infuriating problem.
Steve: "If you just tweak this bit of code, then..."
Human: "Dude! You're such an EntrepreNERD. How DID you know that?"
Steve: "RTFM"

(Note: The use of the name 'Steve' is not directed at a specific individual, but the name does crop-up so frequently in IT, it's uncanny...)
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Why?

An much overused question, usually with a really obvious answer.
They: 'She left me for a Barrister… Why?'
You: 'Because you an a Barista'
by little-miss can't do wrong September 13, 2011
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Domain Diet

Cancelling unused domain names, when the renewal fees exceed $1,000.
You: Just got a $1,350 bill for some .com's I haven't even used yet
They: Time to go on a Domain Diet, Dude!
You: true true
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Freelance Bladder

Freelancer(s) who work from home cannot survive without knowing a bathroom is a few meters away.

This is because they are so used to waiting until the very last moment to use it & seldom have to queue.

As a result of this, even a 10 minute car journey will see them popping-in both before, after & probably also thinking about it somewhere in between.

Do not attempt to initiate stage fright, as it just makes it worse. A Freelancer will still have to go again within the hour.
They: Can you help me carry this suitcase to the car?
Freelancer: Sure thing! Gotta have a quick slash first
They: But you've only just been? You so have a Freelance Bladder!
by little-miss can't do wrong August 21, 2011
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DICK?

Drunk In Charge (of a) Keyboard?

When you get woken up by an SMS at random o'clock & it's clearly from a drunk person. Rather than try to decipher it, simply reply: DICK? If they are, they'll know you aren't.

This used to require a computer keyboard, although those nifty little smart phone things are inspiring a revival (also known to affect to e-mail etc., especially during the early hours of Saturday & Sunday mornings)
Drunk person*: "I really, really, love you!!!" (etc.)
You: "DICK?"
Drunk person*: "Ah... Sorry! Had a few too many shandies..."
You: "Still a DICK?"

*: he/she who probably explored a little DUI beforehand & almost certainly will have a stinking hangover afterwards.
by little-miss can't do wrong October 16, 2010
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