led zeppole's definitions

oxycotton

1. A highly addictive natural fiber, once grown in enormous quantities on vast plantations in the pre-Civil War South.

2. It's "OxyContin," you idiot...

Drug lords have found a brilliant way to get Americans of all ages addicted to oxycotton; spin it into threads and use it to manufacture comfortable shirts and blouses!

by Led Zeppole October 2, 2004

penisillin

Term usede to describe a male sexual organ that is in poor health. Derived from "penis" combined with the street slang term for something bad or broken, "illin."

That case of syphilis has got your penisillin.

by Led Zeppole November 23, 2003

mentalpause

The gradual decline of one's intellectual capacity that begins at middle age.

A variation of the word menopause.

Grandma's habit of forgetting my name is a sure sign of mentalpause.

by Led Zeppole November 16, 2003

Jersey massage

To physically assault someone, either with your fists or with a weapon, such as a baseball bat, pool cue, axe handle or pipe; in simple terms, a beatdown. The "Jersey" part of the phrase is a slang term for the State of New Jersey in the United States. Residents of New Jersey are known for being a bit more "physical" than most Americans when it comes to resolving disputes...

When I walked out of the bar and saw some scumbag pissing on the side of my car, I gave him a Jersey massage that he'll never forget.

by Led Zeppole March 11, 2004

Jihad Joe

A Middle Eastern combat action figure; al-Qaeda's answer to GI Joe.

"Jihad Joe, Jihad Joe, fighting man from towel to toe!"

by Led Zeppole November 18, 2003

smock job

A low-paying job in the retail industry that requires the wearing of a smock. The smock generally has a corporate logo or advertising slogan printed on it, turning the employee into a human billboard. The smock is often seen as demeaning by the employees who must wear them. Excellent examples of smock jobs are the salespeople at stores such as Wal-Mart, Sam's Club and Home Depot.

When Steve's job in the tech sector was eliminated and sent offshore, he had to swallow his pride and take a smock job at Wal-Mart just to pay the bills.

by Led Zeppole March 17, 2004

burning ring of fire

The sensation experienced in the anal region after eating a habanero.

After eating the habanero tacos, my ass felt like a burning ring of fire.

by Led Zeppole October 3, 2003