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l.martin's definitions

BARN FIND

The fantasy of collectors everywhere-(mostly automotive)-that they'll stumble upon a mint condition vintage 'Benz or Ferrari
in a barn or airplane hangar somewhere between N.Y/L.A....owned by someone just happy to get rid of it.Uh-huh.
COLLECTOR:"My 300SL Roadster was a BARN FIND from an estate sale on a river town in Southern Indiana.Family was just happy to be rid of the thing at 90k.Imagine that!"

COLLECTOR 2:"Enough with your fish stories!Even in desperation
nobody let's that rig go for less than 300K.There's photos of you at Barrett Jackson last month anyway."
by L.MARTIN October 14, 2005
mugGet the BARN FINDmug.

DON KING MOMENT

Many talented people are very smart and good at what they do.Unfortunately they're very dumb about everything else...especially money.Don King knows this about fighters when he walks them into a conference room...has an assistant
open a briefcase with 100grand in it...and tells the fighter it's his as an advance for signing on with him.You've never seen that much money before.Of course-as your career takes off-you begin to realize that his "management fees" make the taxes look small.This does'nt just happen to atheletes.
Bill Gates...or Terry Semel...or Barry Diller...wants to "take a meeting"with you.He offers you 100 million for your company ...and "total control" before you even sit down. You try to avoid choking on your coffee.All those years in your cubicle at 80 grand a year.Of course you bite...and watch helplessly as you find that "total control" means you can leave work early on Friday.His henchmen then take your baby and turn it into a multi-billion dollar market leader...or more likely destroy
it before it destroys them.Classic DON KING MOMENT.
by L.MARTIN February 3, 2006
mugGet the DON KING MOMENTmug.

LAPDOG

A 20something man who lands a hot female his age or slightly older.(no more than 5 years)He's muscular,pretty,and fucks the daylights outta her.Too bad he's broke.She's out whoring around with "WEALTHY MEN WHO CAN..."but has LAPDOG for emotional comfort and workouts at the gym.He don't really wanna know what the deal is 'bout that nice condo and the Porsche Boxster.All relationships are temporary...and this one's no different:She'll either
dump him when "MR.BIG STAMPS" decides to take her private...
Or when he returns to being ALPHA DOG as opposed to safe LAPDOG.
GYM RAT 1:"Wassup wit'Dylan and that chick he trains with?
He don't hang wit' us no mo'."

GYM RAT 2:"Yeah...Never seen homie play LAPDOG like this
before.Must be pussy whipped."
by L.MARTIN October 30, 2005
mugGet the LAPDOGmug.

GROUPIE GENE

The biological certainty that your wife,heavy-duty girlfriend,significant other-will guiltlessly fuck someone wealthier and/or more famous than you...should the opportunity
present itself.Remember:She thinks she coulda' done better.
WIFE:"Honey...is'nt that Derek Jeter over there at the table in the corner?"

HUSBAND:"Sure is!Go Yankees!"

WIFE:"Gotta go to the ladies room."

HUSBAND OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"While you're in there...tuck your GROUPIE GENE back in.It's showing!"

WIFE OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"I'll go check on her."
by L.MARTIN October 14, 2005
mugGet the GROUPIE GENEmug.

RICH WHITE GUY

This isn't about skin color so much as it's about the way we discriminate in these modern times:INCOME,EDUCATION,CLASS.
It's a mindset that thinks a million dollars for a one room condo is a bargain...that paying a thousand dollars for two
30 dollar bottles of vodka and a place to sit comfortably is just a good night out...that 1500 dollar an hour pussy is somehow better than 300 dollar an hour pussy...that bidding up the price on goods and services somehow puts you a cut above everyone.
Famous RICH WHITE GUY practitioners:
>P.Diddy
>Michael Douglass
>Oprah
>Brioni
>Bugatti
>Trump
by L.MARTIN January 15, 2006
mugGet the RICH WHITE GUYmug.

GROWN AND SEXY

Ebonics for:"Don't even think of showing up at my function in
in baggy jeans,Air Jordans,platinum chains,bandanas,and 3x white t-shirt.If you're not custom tailored,Armani or Versace-stay your ass home!...Also unless it's neo-soul,rare groove,or old school-you won't hear it here.Want radio hip-hop?Go to that white kids' club in the suburbs...And approach a Sista'with a little finesse.Leaning up against your homies' Escalade does not constitute "having game"...feel me?"
RADIO ANNOUNCER: "FUNK JAZZ WEDNESDAYS at the ICE HOUSE LOUNGE
in downtown.Doors open at 10PM.This party is for the GROWN AND SEXY."
by L.MARTIN December 5, 2005
mugGet the GROWN AND SEXYmug.

COCAINE DECISION

TITLED AFTER FRANK ZAPPA SONG:Someone who makes impulsive, grand scale decisions involving large amounts of money-(usually other peoples')...Facts,consequences and reality be damned.Cocaine is'nt always involved.It just looks that way.
ENRON EXEC.1:"Let's just set up a state-of-the-art trading floor.We'll find something to trade on it later."

ENRON EXEC.2:"What?Are you tootin' rails?That's the most COCAINE DECISION I've ever heard. We'll all go to jail!

ENRON EXEC.3:"Dammit play ball!...I have options on 1,000,000
shares.They vest if it looks like we're doing something."
by L.MARTIN December 10, 2005
mugGet the COCAINE DECISIONmug.

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