kingbumii's definitions

pressing the olives

Male masturbatIon, the olives being your balls and pressing them to make "olive oil" come out

"hey man just start going to school without me, my olives are kind of plump right now"

"Hey man where's dave?"
"He's pressing the olives atm"

by kingbumii June 15, 2015

fapuccino

to have a quick masturbation session to wake oneself up

Where's jimmy? His toast is getting cold.
I think upstairs having a fapuccino

by kingbumii May 12, 2015

yesturbate

To have to use yesterday's material to mastrubate.

Dude, I have to get a new girlfriend. It's been so long since I've had contact with an attractive girl that I'm starting to yesturbate.

by kingbumii May 6, 2015

fapreze

A scent that marks a room where someone has recently masturbated. Derived from combining Febreze and fap

Dude did you wash your junk last night? There's totally a fapreze in here.

by kingbumii May 3, 2015

festurbate

To masturbate at a party or some other festivity.

Depressed that he had no one to hook up with at the New Years party, John withdrew into the guest room and festurbated.

by kingbumii May 7, 2015

facebook scientist

A Facebook commenter with absolutely no degree in any natural science whatsoever, who feels they somehow know more than an actual scientist who has been researching a specific subject matter all of their life. Unlike real scientists, facts or logic don't seem to phase the facebook scientist. She or he would much rather believe that anything that real scientists have to say are just being payed for by "Big Pharma" or liberals who want to take over the world.

Despite no proven causal link whatsoever between vaccines and autism, Mary, a facebook scientist, feels confident enough that doctors who went to medical school and have been practicing and researching medicine for decades don't know what they're talking about, she's willing to risk people's lives around her by not vaccinating her son because she read a blog post online.

Jem has decided that he knows more than the entire community of climate scientists and has proudly claimed global warming is just a hoax. For your own good, don't try to argue with him on this. It's like playing chess with an ape.

by kingbumii May 5, 2016

testurbate

To masturbate before an exam, usually to calm ones nerves and be able to take the test in a post fap clarity.

Person 1:Alright dude, let's head out so we can get to our bio final on time.

Person 2:I'm feeling a little nervous, gonna testurbate first. Go on and I'll catch up with you.

by kingbumii May 6, 2015