9 definitions by kemibe

A complex psychiatric condition affecting as many as 68 million American women over the age of 19 and characterized by rapid a decline in thought, speech and behavioral patterns, with exacerbations and remissions occurring in close concert with sufferers' menstrual periods.
When Bill saw normally dignified non-demonstrative Heloise screeching curses at the coterie of shitty but otherwise harmless musicians gathered in the public sewer known as the Pearl Street Mall, he was dumbfounded.

"Her?" he said to Ricardo.

Bill's friend leaned in close. "Twautism," he said in grave, conspiratorial tones. "Every goddamn month around this time, you'd swear she'd just eaten a box of thermometers."
by kemibe February 23, 2013
Drunken singing of popular songs from memory and with no accompaniment, often containing numerous mistakes in both pitch and the lyrics themselves.
Brian, shithoused beyond all conventional standards of intoxiction, reeled into his apartment belting out a vodkapella rendition of "Sweet Child o' Mine," but got no further than the part about breaking down and crying before horking violently into the sink.
by kemibe February 25, 2013
The incorrect use or interpretation of a word pertaining to the male genitalia resulting in the substitution of one with a similar sound (viz. malapropism).
"You seen the size o' that ole boy's dong?" asked Cletus, staring bitterly down at his own withered package.

"I ain't interested in how big a turd Jimbo can lay," replied Larry. His phallapropism was no surprise; he'd always had trouble distinguishing between soft vowel sounds.
by kemibe February 23, 2013
A grocery chain offering overpriced African and Haitian organic and non-GMO products, and catering primarily to glutards, soccer moms, and unusually irritating subspecies of vegans.
"Why do we need more than Irish meals from McDonald's anyway?" thundered the obese con man with the dead ferret on his head. "I don't want creole or couscous from Shitwhole Foods."
by kemibe January 15, 2018
The study of the penile dimensions of male human beings. This can be conducted informally, e.g., a heterosexual woman vetting a potential lover on the basis of his purported or observed length and width, or formally, as when a clinician or condom manufacturer collects data through direct measurements, surveys or some combination of these.
Wanting to shed her reputation as a "size queen," "cockhound," and so on without sacrificing her preferences, KittyJane decided to start putting "expect phallometry" in her online personal ads.
by kemibe November 17, 2012
A type of severe hangover brought on by the overzealous consumption of grog and characterized by the onset of vomiting, chills and other flu-like symptoms.
Having polished off the better part of fifth of Bacardi 151 the previous night, Jack awoke with a hideous case of ginfluenza: trembling and feverish and lying in a miasma of puke, shit and piss that may or may not have been of his own excretion.
by kemibe February 25, 2013
A putative Web site boasting a collection of slang terms pertaining to the unseemly aspects of Arab culture, history and mores.
"That damn camel jockey who runs the Circle-K tried to Jew me out of twenny cents," Lenny complained morosely, oblivious to his own hilarious conflation of ethnic insults.

"Hwat's that?" Cletus asked absently, performing phallometry on the brothers' pit bull with a rusty tape measure.

"What, camel jockey?" asked Lenny. "it out yer Turban Dictionary. And I tole you not to talk like a fuckin' hwetard!"
by kemibe February 23, 2013