9 definition by kemibe

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(v.) To disrupt, scuttle, or otherwise interfere with; to lower the value of through the deliberate introduction of chaos or fuckery.
Having downloaded a peer-to-peer application against his better judgment, Kevin's operating system was befriggered beyond recognition thanks to a host of fuckware.
by kemibe June 24, 2010

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Capable of exerting an unusual degree of control over one's sphincter apparatus while expelling flatulence; endowed with unusual powers of colonic expression.
Buster, ever farticulate in word and deed, punctuated his racist tirade with a booming and authoritative burst from between his pimply, doughy ass-cheeks, leaning the standard 15 degrees to one side on his hardwood chair as he did so.
by kemibe February 20, 2013

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The study of the penile dimensions of male human beings. This can be conducted informally, e.g., a heterosexual woman vetting a potential lover on the basis of his purported or observed length and width, or formally, as when a clinician or condom manufacturer collects data through direct measurements, surveys or some combination of these.
Wanting to shed her reputation as a "size queen," "cockhound," and so on without sacrificing her preferences, KittyJane decided to start putting "expect phallometry" in her online personal ads.
by kemibe November 17, 2012

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A complex psychiatric condition affecting as many as 68 million American women over the age of 19 and characterized by rapid a decline in thought, speech and behavioral patterns, with exacerbations and remissions occurring in close concert with sufferers' menstrual periods.
When Bill saw normally dignified non-demonstrative Heloise screeching curses at the coterie of shitty but otherwise harmless musicians gathered in the public sewer known as the Pearl Street Mall, he was dumbfounded.

"Her?" he said to Ricardo.

Bill's friend leaned in close. "Twautism," he said in grave, conspiratorial tones. "Every goddamn month around this time, you'd swear she'd just eaten a box of thermometers."
by kemibe February 23, 2013

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A type of severe hangover brought on by the overzealous consumption of grog and characterized by the onset of vomiting, chills and other flu-like symptoms.
Having polished off the better part of fifth of Bacardi 151 the previous night, Jack awoke with a hideous case of ginfluenza: trembling and feverish and lying in a miasma of puke, shit and piss that may or may not have been of his own excretion.
by kemibe February 24, 2013

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Drunken singing of popular songs from memory and with no accompaniment, often containing numerous mistakes in both pitch and the lyrics themselves.
Brian, shithoused beyond all conventional standards of intoxiction, reeled into his apartment belting out a vodkapella rendition of "Sweet Child o' Mine," but got no further than the part about breaking down and crying before horking violently into the sink.
by kemibe February 24, 2013

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The incorrect use or interpretation of a word pertaining to the male genitalia resulting in the substitution of one with a similar sound (viz. malapropism).
"You seen the size o' that ole boy's dong?" asked Cletus, staring bitterly down at his own withered package.

"I ain't interested in how big a turd Jimbo can lay," replied Larry. His phallapropism was no surprise; he'd always had trouble distinguishing between soft vowel sounds.
by kemibe February 23, 2013

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