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karlos's definitions

professional canoe cleaner

A person who has an active intrest in doing a good job of eating a girl out. They perform the deed with such quality and skill that they should be deemed professioal and paid for the work that the complete.
Last night Karlos was a professional canoe cleaner.
by karlos February 22, 2005
mugGet the professional canoe cleanermug.

Freak-a-deek

Usually refers to white, college-age, left-wing student activists that dress poorly and engage in labored, unoriginal and uninspiring acts of civil disobedience that have little to no relevance to every day Americans, such a protests against sweat shops or the entire Occupy Movement.
“Oh man!” he chortled, “Ha! I should’ve guessed… by your clothes! Oh man! You’re one of the freak-a-deeks!”
“Freak-a-deeks?” I disingenuously protested and leaned back in my chair.
“Yeah. Oh, man.” He laughed. “That’s what we call these airhead activist types. You know? I didn’t mean any disrespect when I was going on about all that white man’s guilt shit and all. You know?”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “It takes a thick skin to be in the business.”
He rubbed his tear-clogged eyes and stopped his laughing. “Who’re you with? The Greens? The Commies? The ‘let’s rape the rich’ freak-a-deeks?”
“The Progressives,” I said. “The Obioch Progressive Union.”

Excerpt from the novel The Rum and the Fury
by Karlos October 22, 2014
mugGet the Freak-a-deekmug.

gerbil

Our name for the Eurasian species of this mammal, which is noted for defending its burrow like a knight of old, may come from the gerbil knightly emblem. The creature's white head with a broad black stripe on each side of the snout may have brought to mind a gerb, hence gerbil. Good evidence supporting this theory is that an earlier name for the animal was gauson, which comes from the Old French word gaucenc, usually referring to a white patch on a horse and also meaning “gerbil.” gauson is first recorded in 1373.
Nice Gerbil Helmut sir
by Karlos April 2, 2004
mugGet the gerbilmug.

pressure wank

A pressure wank will take sometime to organize. Firstly one needs a Demijohn type vessel with a faulty fermentation lock. Secondly add to the Demijohn all the usual items to allow the fermentation process to develop. Timing is crucial! After 2 months in direct sunlight the contents of the Demijohn should be ripe for the rip! Note: awaiting for the perfect moment means commitment I.e. staying with the vessel 24 hours a day till its ready.

Since the fermentation lock is faulty the pressure should be quite powerful so please wear the appropriate gear. ( a strong tissue placed on the head and a bandage).

When the moment of the spurt of the bacterially infected juices comes! Place the tip of your placid willy or bell upon the faulty fermentation lock and tape (with gaffer) till sealed!

There will be a slight pause then...wooooooooooooooooof! watch your cock balloon and balls crack with the liquid wonderment speeding through your Jappipe!

And enjoy till empty.
pressure wank is also known as: Drain My Fat "Lady Jane " from the french : dame-jeanne.

You could also try Anal Scrumping! Using the same process but aimed up the wrong en!
by Karlos December 25, 2008
mugGet the pressure wankmug.

arse candle

one of the latest revisions of string theory involving spider spunk sweat shops
Its weaved from the finest arse candle
by Karlos April 1, 2004
mugGet the arse candlemug.

bell smoke

the steam generated from profuse and violent sexual congress between two gentlemen. See Mark Dixon
"Christ you can smell the bell smoke"
by Karlos August 15, 2003
mugGet the bell smokemug.

Fleshy Nozzle

the small dangly protuberance found betwixt most gentlemens legs, not found on Mark Dixon. see Mark Dixon. Generally used for urinating and putting in vaginal or rectal orrifices, not to be confused with the a wizards sleeve
" I cannot help but manipulate my felshy nozzle until it pukes sticky white love piss"
by Karlos August 19, 2003
mugGet the Fleshy Nozzlemug.

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