jvarna5's definitions

scientology salesman

The guy who repeatedly calls and emails you to come to Dianetics office to take a personality test. Really, it's just another way to convince you to buy more scientology crap.

Jon: "I honestly don't want to be a scientologist."

Greg: "Ha, HA, HA, ha...I knew you would say that.That's why I want you to purchase this workbook from Ron, it explains exactly how you are feeling right now."

Jon: "Tom Cruise is gay."

Greg: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

Jon: "Ha, got rid of that scientology salesman."

by jvarna5 February 1, 2008

Hobo Chili

Any combination of readily available ingredients stirred together in a pot or used soup-can over an open fire. Ingredients can include: Pigeons, fecal matter, babies, dogs, grass, fingers.

Best served with a vintage Merlot, but toilet wine will suffice.

Crazy Homeless man: "A dead hooker, three mice, and a used condom? Oh, it's Hobo Chili time!"

by jvarna5 January 30, 2008

ghetto abortion

Drop-kicking a potential "baby-mama" down the stairs.

Keisha: "I ain't had no puriod yet, so you gon haf to take me to da woman clinic to get anotha abortion."

Terell: "That place is fo' rich-ass white folks! I'm takin you to tha Ghetto Abortion clinic!"

Keisha: "Where that is?"

(Terell leaps five feet in the air, delivers a swift kick to Keisha's forehead, which sends her down five flights of stairs)

Terell: "Aww, snap

by jvarna5 January 30, 2008

big sis

A sorority girl who is the mentor of a new sorority (statistic) member. New members zealously love their "big sis", and they usually proclaim their love by window-chalking "I LUV MY BIG SIS!!!" all over their car.

New sorority girl: "I love my big sis!! I love her, I love her, I love her, I love her, I love her..."

New sorority girl's boyfriend: "Uhhh..."

by jvarna5 January 28, 2008

breaking my balls

Phrase that Italian Mafia members use frequently when someone is giving them a hard time.

Joey "the fag" Calzone: "Hey Jimmy, stop breaking my balls, will ya!!!

Jimmy "Dingleberry" Dinello: "Yo Jimmy, I'll be breakin ya face is yous don't shut da hell up! Look at this guy!"

by jvarna5 January 28, 2008

Butt Gorilla

The Butt Gorilla is a nocturnal primate who climbs into young boy's windows at nite, and commences to have butt-secks with them. His voice sounds eerily like...your Dad's.

Boy: "Dad, I had a nightmare that a man in a gorilla suit humped my butt. And it really hurts!"

Dad (With a twinkle in his eye): "Oh, that ol Butt Gorilla must've visited you last night! Now hurry up and put this dress on!"

by jvarna5 January 30, 2008

cracklin

- Fried pork fat. Popular in the South.

- Tiny white people.

Keisha: "MMMmmm, I love me some cracklings!!" Chomp, Chomp.

Ray-ray: "Damn, ho! You keep eating those cracklings, and I'll be frying yo ass and sellin it!"

Terell: "Fuck, nigga! I had a dream that a hundred little cracklins tied me up and forced me to listen to Barry Manilow! Then they made me take out a high-interest loan!"

Bank: " That wasn't a dream. You're being evicted. Oh, I love Manilow!!"

by Jvarna5 March 16, 2008