8 definitions by jlowe1964
When your eyes have been damaged (i.e. vandalized) by looking at a large woman who has no business wearing spandex shorts.
Dude 1: "Dude, look at that woman eating fried butter, wearing her spandex shorts."
Dude 2: "Oh, Nooooooooooo, I've been spandalized."
Dude 2: "Oh, Nooooooooooo, I've been spandalized."
by jlowe1964 October 16, 2009
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When everyone expects you to have the same knowledge as your spouse simply because you live with them. Frequently happens if the husband is computer savvy, then everyone expects the wife to have equal knowledge about computers too and will frequently go to her for computer help.
Ruth's coworker: Hey, Ruth, can you help me? My computer screen just went black.
Ruth: What? No, I have a middle school teaching degree.
Ruth's coworker: Well, I just thought since your husband is into computers, you'd know how to fix it by spousemosis.
Ruth: What? No, I have a middle school teaching degree.
Ruth's coworker: Well, I just thought since your husband is into computers, you'd know how to fix it by spousemosis.
by jlowe1964 January 18, 2010
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My poor dog hid under the bed whining during the entire storm. Poor guy was stormented by the lightning.
by jlowe1964 January 18, 2010
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Teachers receive a lot of useless cherishsumables at Christmas time from their students.
"I had to ewww and awww over this cherishsumable when I opened it from my student, but in my mind I really was thinking 'What in the world am I going to do with this little piece of junk?'"
"I had to ewww and awww over this cherishsumable when I opened it from my student, but in my mind I really was thinking 'What in the world am I going to do with this little piece of junk?'"
by jlowe1964 August 18, 2009
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When you accidently press the send button before you've finished typing the full message. Can occur while texting or email.
Guy 1: "Oh, man I just texted my girlfiiend that "I'd love to have a b"
Guy 2: "What?"
Guy 1: "Yeah, I didn't get to finish the sentence cause I accidently had a premature ejacusend. I was going to tell her I'd love to have a beer with her. "
Guy 2: "What?"
Guy 1: "Yeah, I didn't get to finish the sentence cause I accidently had a premature ejacusend. I was going to tell her I'd love to have a beer with her. "
by jlowe1964 January 18, 2010
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I wish I had a dime for every time my maternal unit used this momtra on me, "Daughter, choices have consequences."
by jlowe1964 April 10, 2010
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The jealous rage you find yourself in when you discover through twitter that your significant other has been dating someone else behind your back.
by jlowe1964 May 20, 2009
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