Selfie Shock

The unexpected sensation one gets when using their phone to take a picture, only to discover that they left the camera in selfie mode.

Ohh, I want a picture of,… who the hell is that? Oh, it’s just me giving myself a Selfie Shock

by Jfman August 30, 2018

Breast Redaction

A tattoo across a woman’s chest that is partially obscured by her clothes.

Excuse me mam, could you please take off your top? Due to Breast Redaction, I can’t read your tittoo.

by Jfman August 9, 2018

Advers-ocado

The fear that the avocado you're cutting into might be all nasty and brown inside.

I really want some avocado toast, but my avocados are old and I'm scared to see what's inside them. I guess I have advers-ocado.

by Jfman April 16, 2021

Dict Jokes

Immature penis jokes that puns off of words that start with “dict”.

Person 1: I bet that secretary is good at dick-tation.
Person 2: That porn star was actually a good actress. She had really good dick-tion.
Person 3: A friend of mine went downtown to hire a male prostitute. I guess he wanted an Urban Dick-tionary.
Person 4 (the mature one who has had enough): Will you all stop with the Dict Jokes?

by Jfman August 9, 2018

Millennial

Some who only knows Sarah McLachlan as that sad animal lady.

Me: I still think “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy” is one of the greatest albums ever made.
Millennial: You mean, Sarah McLachlan, I thought she just wrote songs about abused animals.

by Jfman December 25, 2018

nilla wafer

What people eat when they run out of cookies.

Damnit, we’re out of cookies. All we have is an 8-year old box of Nilla Wafers in the back of the pantry.

by Jfman August 9, 2018

Keurig Courtesy

The act of patiently performing tasks on the office Keurig machine.

I had to throw away someone else’s K-Cup and fill the reservoir, just to get a cup of coffee. But that’s OK, I don’t mind showing some Keurig Courtesy.

by Jfman August 30, 2018