jake's definitions

hammer

The final and best trick in a skateboarders video part.

"Keep watching, wait until you see his hammer"

by Jake May 8, 2005

stanger

To wrap a rubber-band around your hand and wait until it goes numb. Then you masturbate.

"Man, I can't get a girl....at least I've got a rubber-band and a bottle of hand cream."

by Jake May 15, 2005

clonophobe

One who fears clones. Also used as a term for the fear or rejection cloned animal meat.

Mary was deemed a clonophobe after refusing to support the FDA's decision of marketing cloned meat.

by Jake January 2, 2007

shit tickler

Any person that enjoys, but is not limited to, constantly fingering the anus of others.

John: Fucking ew dude, did you hear what tom did to all the other guys at marv's sleepover?

Zach: Yeah dude. what a fuckin shit tickler.

John: I bet that twisted bastards' fingers smell.

by JakE May 21, 2007

Dick mailer

One who dilivers by the means of a post office, a dildo to a gay lover before butt sex.

Bob: Do you know why Abe sent me a dildo in the mail? That's kind of fruity.

Ron: Dude, you better hide or something. That fag's a dick mailer!

by JakE May 21, 2007

fuck jingler

A person whom, for some reason or another, enjoys strapping jingle bells to their ballsack during sex, making a familiar holiday sound. Especially popular during the Christmas season.

Boy: Daddy! I think santa's at the Weinstein's house!

Dad: No son, Mr. Weinstein is just a fuck jingler.

by JakE May 21, 2007

cock author

One who enjoys tatooing dirty homosexual phrases upon the genetalia of their fruity companions. Not be be confused with a mere toatooist tatooing a penis, the cock author does it solely for pleasure and not for profit.

Hans: Were you invited to Bjorn's tatoo party?

Wilhelm: I wouldn't go over there if I were you. He's not a tatooist. He's a freakin cock author.

Hans: Oh shit...

by JakE May 21, 2007