i swear to god i'm not drunk's definitions

new year's resolution

a goal that you propose then forget the next day.

a goal that should be realistic.

My new year's resolution is to eat less junk food, exercise more, and live an overall healthier, more productive, studious, exciting, and fulfilling life. This will probably result in utter failure, but I am making it anyway.

by i swear to god i'm not drunk December 29, 2005

as fuck

A phrase inserted after any adjective to make it stronger.

I'm drunk as fuck.
I'm horny as fuck.
I'm tired as fuck.
I'm blazed as fuck.
I'm screwed as fuck.

by i swear to god i'm not drunk December 28, 2005

opinion

"an opinion is like a rectum. everyone has one, but each of them stinks."

in my honest and humble opinion, your opinion stinks.

by i swear to god i'm not drunk December 29, 2005

pfffuck

an expression of extreme annoyance, exasperation, or frustration that combines pfff with fuck.

pfffuck. i have a discrete math final tomorrow and i haven't even started studying for it.

by i swear to god i'm not drunk December 28, 2005

smile

A facial expression implemented by girls to kill and enslave entire populations.

Her smile killed me.

by i swear to god i'm not drunk February 21, 2005

never

1. a fucking long time
2. the amount of time it will take a girl to love me
3. often an answer to my question of "will you talk to this pathetic lost soul?"

1. Never say never!
2. I will never get this girl to love me.
3.
I: Will you talk to this pathetic lost soul?
You: Never.
I: Fuck.

by i swear to god i'm not drunk February 21, 2005

napoleon dynamite

a movie that i personally enjoyed for its oddball humor.

a movie that some people hate just because a lot of buttholes quote it all the time and just because it's popular. hating napoleon dynamite just because a lot of other people like it is a bad reason to hate it. it's like hating peanut butter or jelly just because it's popular.

i watched napoleon dynamite and thought it was funny and a good movie overall. if you don't like my opinion, tough luck.

by i swear to god i'm not drunk December 29, 2005