i swear to god i'm not drunk's definitions

new year's resolution

a goal that you propose then forget the next day.

a goal that should be realistic.

My new year's resolution is to eat less junk food, exercise more, and live an overall healthier, more productive, studious, exciting, and fulfilling life. This will probably result in utter failure, but I am making it anyway.

by i swear to god i'm not drunk December 29, 2005

roommate

the most annoying fucker ever

my roommate is the most annoying fucker to date. he used to sexile me every other day, didn't care if i couldn't get into my room while they were fucking changing, until i told them to fuck in her room. inconsiderate bastard. he also expects me to go to bed at the same time he does; he asks me every single fucking night what time i want to go to bed. he tells me to work on my fucking homework the next night just because he says he can't sleep as well with the computer on. i work on my homework in the computer lab where i don't have to put up with his peevish presence. he said that it would be funny if my cello got stolen, which it did. turns out somebody down the hall did it as a joke. scared the hell out of the motherfucker. fucking deserved it.

by i swear to god i'm not drunk December 28, 2005

napoleon dynamite

a movie that i personally enjoyed for its oddball humor.

a movie that some people hate just because a lot of buttholes quote it all the time and just because it's popular. hating napoleon dynamite just because a lot of other people like it is a bad reason to hate it. it's like hating peanut butter or jelly just because it's popular.

i watched napoleon dynamite and thought it was funny and a good movie overall. if you don't like my opinion, tough luck.

by i swear to god i'm not drunk December 29, 2005

pfffuck

an expression of extreme annoyance, exasperation, or frustration that combines pfff with fuck.

pfffuck. i have a discrete math final tomorrow and i haven't even started studying for it.

by i swear to god i'm not drunk December 28, 2005

as fuck

A phrase inserted after any adjective to make it stronger.

I'm drunk as fuck.
I'm horny as fuck.
I'm tired as fuck.
I'm blazed as fuck.
I'm screwed as fuck.

by i swear to god i'm not drunk December 28, 2005

opinion

"an opinion is like a rectum. everyone has one, but each of them stinks."

in my honest and humble opinion, your opinion stinks.

by i swear to god i'm not drunk December 29, 2005

mr. bean

a hilarious british TV comedy that was cancelled, if it has been cancelled. mr. bean is played by rowan atkinson who is also in the movies love actually and bean. in my opinion, one of the funniest British TV shows to be cancelled.

made into an fiscally unsuccessful movie starring rowan atkinson and the crazy dude from ghostbusters.

i like the episode where mr. bean falls asleep during church on his knees and face on the floor and he sneezes and has to use the inside of his pocket as a handkerchief.

by i swear to god i'm not drunk December 29, 2005