hedley Clubnobber's definitions

go-lightly

A 'go-lighty'; noun/adj. made famous in UK.TV hidden camera show where grossly overweight people go round knocking things down inadvertently.

'Look at the size of him/her, Mate! What a go-lightly'.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

fundamentalist

Mental certainty. Fun at the start, never at the end. Someone who brings fireworks to Armageddon.

a. 'that's fundamentalist nonesense?!'

b. 'in the name of the Prince of Peace, die you doubter!'

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

cardiff

Arrive on holday, never leave. Best city in Britian but not for the reasons the politicians would have you believe. Usual scattering of council estate dumping grouds that politics forgot. Made better by the fact that hunderds of thousands of Valley folk come here every week to work, shop and entertain the locals. Full of amazing Welsh women. The graveyard of ambition. With the Beacons to the north, sea to the south and Llanelli to the west, why on earth would you want to go east?

Famous for:
BRAINS Beer brewed in Cardiff: outstanding, deceptive, lethal.
Civic Centre: compact, bijou and nice lit up at night.
Great people: luv Wales, luv the Celts!
Residual Religion: it's there in the weft & weave but the Welsh, being a truly spiritual people, are resisting vigourously.
Bent Politics: nuff said!
Ely & Llanrumney: chav hot-spots. No fashion sense whatsoever.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 14, 2006

social worker

making lots of money out of people's misery. part of the burgeoning 'new professions class' of the late 20thC and usually a socialist, liberal or worse. social workers took over where the church left off. may know the difference between right and wrong but doesn't see why it should apply to them. a secular priest, monk or nun who enforces politically acceptable thought and behaviour on the hapless, helpless and hopeless. talks complete psychobabble with no scientific foundation whatsoever. often pilloried for taking children into care or leaving them to die; whichever the press find most distressing at the time. almost always an insecure individual who should be having therapy not giving it.
MALE of type tries to compensate for the low social status by talking complete bollocks at the pub.
FEMALE, usually a cat owner, likely to be crazy as a coot and in medieval times would have been burned as a witch.
SW MANAGER has generally failed even at this low level and so exacerbates the public's woes with incompetence in leadership.
most SWs try to avoid mentioning it at parties or face the prospect of further rejection. secretly support the British National Party.

social worker; 'As a social worker, I like to consider the full psycho-socio-sexual-ethnic dynamic in operation in any given situation or mele before drawing a tentative conclusion or proposal. I mean, I may not even go so far as to reach a conclusion, perhaps only hinting at a possible resolution, if that's ok with you?, which may in fact or actually not even be so certain as that. Is that wrong d'ya think?? I believe people should be allowed to live their own lives without interference from the state until we interfere. Failure is a negative concept and I don't like to use that word. However, the true answer may only ever be 'Yes'...or...'No' or...'Maybe'.... and it's never absolutely cl..'

normal person; 'Sorry to interupt. I'm afraid it's too late, the child / old person has been battered into the next life!'

by Hedley Clubnobber September 17, 2006

merican

shortened form of 'a-merican' but may generally decribe someone who doesn't believe another world exists outside their national borders. generally stupid, ill-educated and naive. eats garbage but thinks it's food, votes republican or democrat but still says they're expressing choice. believes in God but doesn't see the implications! believes Jesus is cool but still can't see the implications!! believes in the antichrist 'without' but not 'within'. supports the zionazi state of israel without question. believes in the 'american dream' but only by being permanently asleep to the truth.

a. 'that was like talking to the wall!'

b. 'Aw, bless 'em, must be merican'

by Hedley Clubnobber September 4, 2006

comp

British, sigular - short for 'comprehensive school'. State school system or chain of open prisons depending on whether you're a politician or actually live near/work in/ go to these shit holes. A process by which bright, intelligent, lively, inquisitive children are miseducated into sullen, stupid, violent, bored young adults ready for a life in front of the TV, so they can buy products for the rest of their lives until they die having accomplished....nothing.

Q. S/he's a complete moron. How did s/he get like that?

A. S/he went to a 'comp'.

by Hedley Clubnobber August 27, 2006

religion

usually based on selling people a personal insurance policy that can only be cashed in at death by the purchaser. therefore, impossible to know whether said religion has enough assets in the account to draw on or whether the seller has skipped off with the benefits, until too late. therefore, faith based. often accompanied by general claim to a sky-god/s authority of some kind, portrayed usually by representatives as a highly-strung, insecure person/s with a do-or-die outlook on life ie. 'you do or you die'. choice of insurers avaiable with various policy standards and disclaimers. onus upon buyer to prove worthiness rather than on sky-god. representatives arbitrate on disputes but no findings ever in favour of claimants thusfar.

religion...... the word 'ligion' said over and over again.
anyone know what a 'ligion' is?

by Hedley Clubnobber September 28, 2006