goyo's definitions

Ivaginary Friend

The girl one of your male friends claims to have had sex with after being separated from the rest of your group (boys, crew, etc.) for all or the majority of a weekend night. The rest of your group has no way of ascertaining any information about whether your friend actually lost his virginity or who the girl is. She lives in a big city or goes to a huge university, has a generic first name, no memorable last name, no phone number, and no identifiable social media.

Crew-member A: John keeps going on about hooking-up with his ivaginary friend.
Crew-member B: Yeah, how long do you think it'll be before he actually gets laid?
Crew-member A: With his game, that's the best he'll do for a while.

by goyo May 20, 2016

ugly girl smash

When you see something exotic about how unattractive a chick is and want to smash despite the ugliness because her appearance is so different from the basic bitches and dimes.

Andrew: Do not fuck genes? Nah, man she's an ugly girl smash.
James: Dude, I can't be seen with you if you hit that.

by goyo August 30, 2017

vant

Venting and ranting at the same time.

Bob: Did you hear Jimmy vanting about his breakup?
Joe: Yeah, I'd be vanting like that too if a chick cheated on me and wrecked my car.

by goyo March 18, 2025

BTFO

Bitch The Fuck Out

Anne: Don't you wanna try on these leggings, John?
John: BTFO my face with that shit.

by goyo January 23, 2018

Porn Browser

The state of the art in concealing evidence of the myriad of pornographic content viewed on a computer. For some, porn browsers became obsolete with the addition of private or "incognito" modes to all the major browsers. However, these private browsing modes proved to be double-edged swords - wiping browsing history and thus increasing the amount of time spent moby dicking. To make up for this deficiency, porn consumers simply choose from a wide selection of second-tier modern browsers like Opera to browse for porn and other possibly embarrassing material while keeping their history/bookmarks intact. This strategy has almost completely eliminated the need for the age-old new folder or untitled folder.

Okay, with all the shortcuts to Chrome everywhere no one should ever try looking for my porn browser. Genius!

by goyo July 2, 2016

rule 666

The rule that most women desire men with these three qualities:
- 6 feet tall
- 6 figure income
- 6 pack abs

One, two, or all three 6s make it progressively easier for a man to frequently attract and keep the company of women. Lacking all three will make it sufficiently difficult for a man to attract women.

Jane: Does he pass rule 666?

Amy: Of course, but there's so much more to him.

Jane: Like what?

Amy: I mean, he's funny and like smart.

Jane: Whatever.

by goyo May 9, 2017

empty nut

When you nut, but don't care. It's almost like you didn't nut at all.

I'm so tired, I don't even care to masturbate. It will just be an empty nut.

by goyo April 18, 2018