goose_on_a_roof's definitions

Todd

A fearless mate, he would be, an’ the finest buccaneer I ever lay me eyes on. He can swing from the riggin’, cutlass in hand, with war cry to chill ye to the bone. No mortal man could fill his boots as his seabag have the orbs of a binnacle. Drink a man ‘til he be red in the eye, ‘e could, an’ crack another bottle o’ grog fer good measure. A fine figure he cut, like the jib of a clipper. …an’ the lassies, oh the lassies…linin’ up to be his conquest, like flies bearin’ gifts to a spider, they be. With the staff of Poseidon, he slay the wenches, leavin’ ‘em breathless an’ quiverin’. Aye, matey, but Todd be the one…loyal to his captain and mates. He be the one ye turn when somethin’ needs doin’. Like a shark with a seaman’s leg, he’ll never let ‘er go.

Wench: Beggin’ ye pardon, m’ lord, but would Todd be with ye.
Captain: Aye, lassie, but he already be outfit with six young maidens.
Wench: Crap-eth!

by goose_on_a_roof August 21, 2021

Quasar

An attractive girl/woman that radiates a stellar feminine quality (derived from the astronomy term of the same name meaning: an extremely luminous active galactic nucleus, in which a supermassive black hole with mass ranging from millions to billions of times the mass of the Sun is surrounded by a gaseous accretion disk.)

"Dude, I know ya love those knee-shootin’ yabos but there’s such a thing as too big. Now take that little amuse-bouche. That quasar has got a nice set of perts."

by goose_on_a_roof October 9, 2020

google

(original definition)

verb

to throw a girl to the ground and tickle her until she pees (or pukes)

This was practiced by fraternities in northeastern colleges during the 1940’s prior to the advent of the panty raid.

“Brother Harold, you are to google Muffy Berenson until sufficiently soiled.”

by goose_on_a_roof March 29, 2022

Dewclaws are Up

Show of approval, Thumbs Up (as the dewclaws of a canine are essentially their thumbs). This is a subtle variation of “Dewclaws Up”.

Dude: Scope those curvacious maidens. I’ll pounce the coal top with the bouncing betties. What’s your ruling on the blonde?
Wingman: The dewclaws are up.

by goose_on_a_roof October 8, 2020

Jiffy Wiz

A period of time. It is derived from the computer term jiffy, which is a clock (computer) dependent interval of time. It is so short that hundreds of thousand could pass and a human couldn’t even sense it. From the human perspective, with any passage of time the jiffies would just wiz by, hence the term “jiffy wiz”.

Usage:
"I gotta squat for a jiffy wiz in The Gran Manzana and I've been head sparkin’ ‘bout pounding that Coney fillet in a twee fire-in-the-hole.
The dewclaws are up. Ya wanna draft my flivver?
Bang the pipes by 5:00 or hold peace.”

Translation:
"I’ve got a layover in New York City and was thinking about getting a hotdog in a quaint restaurant.
I’m enthusiastic. Do you want to come along?
Call me by 5:00 or it will be too late."

by goose_on_a_roof October 9, 2020

plantin’ some onion

to break wind, fart

Neil: Houston, we have a problem. Buzz is plantin’ some onion and the fan relay on the LEM’s environmental system has got a 203 alarm.
Houston Control: Roger that, Neil. You have our condolences and we’re checkin’ the accessory bus.

by goose_on_a_roof October 16, 2020

Goose Waffle

The goose droppings that dry up and fall off the soles of your hiking boots after a walk in the field.

"Who left the goose waffles in the hallway? Everyone check your feet."

by goose_on_a_roof September 19, 2012