barnacle

verb

to attach or adhere to something (can be either literal or figurative), like the crustacean of the same name that attaches itself to the hull of a ship
“I walked into one of those high-end stores on Rodeo Drive and I was amazed at how few products were on display. The floorspace was wide open. I guess they need all that open room to house the army of sales associates that stand ready to barnacle their lips to your keister.”
by goose_on_a_roof August 27, 2022
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Waning Mullet

a man’s hairstyle that is bald on the top but with long stringy hair hanging over the collar in the back (elderhostel up front, party in the back)

This is a modification of the 80’s mullet. It is worn by the diehard that refuses to give up the long hair that he sported back in high school.
Bob: Did you see Jim Rickards on Fox Business talking about the demise of the US Dollar?
Dave: Is that the guy with the waning mullet?
Bob: Yeah, that’s him.
by goose_on_a_roof December 31, 2020
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Squeeze Burger

An adorably cute dog (cat, person, etc.) that you have an irresistible urge to snuggle.
"Come here girl! Come on! That's it! Who's a good doggie? You are. Oh yes you are. You are so cute, you little squeeze burger."
by goose_on_a_roof October 28, 2020
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Jiffy Wiz

A period of time. It is derived from the computer term jiffy, which is a clock (computer) dependent interval of time. It is so short that hundreds of thousand could pass and a human couldn’t even sense it. From the human perspective, with any passage of time the jiffies would just wiz by, hence the term “jiffy wiz”.
Usage:
"I gotta squat for a jiffy wiz in The Gran Manzana and I've been head sparkin’ ‘bout pounding that Coney fillet in a twee fire-in-the-hole.
The dewclaws are up. Ya wanna draft my flivver?
Bang the pipes by 5:00 or hold peace.”

Translation:
"I’ve got a layover in New York City and was thinking about getting a hotdog in a quaint restaurant.
I’m enthusiastic. Do you want to come along?
Call me by 5:00 or it will be too late."
by goose_on_a_roof October 09, 2020
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pounding

To eat or drink (Often times this denotes eating/drinking fast but this is not always the case.)
Usage:
"I gotta squat for a jiffy wiz in The Gran Manzana and I've been head sparkin’ ‘bout pounding that Coney fillet in a twee fire-in-the-hole.
The dewclaws are up. Ya wanna draft my flivver?
Bang the pipes by 5:00 or hold peace.”

Translation:
"I’ve got a layover in New York City and was thinking about getting a hotdog in a quaint restaurant.
I’m enthusiastic. Do you want to come along?
Call me by 5:00 or it will be too late."
by goose_on_a_roof October 16, 2020
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the beans are talkin’

Husband: Did you…? Oh my gosh!
Wife: (embarrassed) Yeah, the beans are talkin’.
Husband: Well, you could have...
Wife: (indignant) I DID, but YOU just had to have curry. Actions have consequences.
by goose_on_a_roof October 18, 2020
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unicorn fart in the wind

noun

1. an undeveloped idea

2. an idea that is not grounded in reality

3. an ill conceived plan that has no chance of coming to fruition

4. something that does not exist in the real, or physical, world
Geezer: …so this “crypto currency”, as you call it, which doesn’t exist in any physical form, is going to revolutionize the way the world transacts business?
Millennial: Yes…exactly.
Geezer: That’s just a unicorn fart in the wind.
by goose_on_a_roof March 27, 2022
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