Definitions by goose_on_a_roof

bouncing betties 

a large set of women’s breasts that perform a lively mating dance with the eyes of every man whos body is coursing with testosterone (A man need not be in eye-shot of such a spectacle to be effected as his...ur, umm…”divining rod” points the way like a compass to magnetic north.)

Dude: Scope those curvacious maidens. I’ll pounce the coal top with the bouncing betties. What’s your ruling on the blonde?
Wingman: The dewclaws are up.

bouncing betties by goose_on_a_roof October 16, 2020

pounding 

To eat or drink (Often times this denotes eating/drinking fast but this is not always the case.)

Usage:
"I gotta squat for a jiffy wiz in The Gran Manzana and I've been head sparkin’ ‘bout pounding that Coney fillet in a twee fire-in-the-hole.
The dewclaws are up. Ya wanna draft my flivver?
Bang the pipes by 5:00 or hold peace.”

Translation:
"I’ve got a layover in New York City and was thinking about getting a hotdog in a quaint restaurant.
I’m enthusiastic. Do you want to come along?
Call me by 5:00 or it will be too late."

pounding by goose_on_a_roof October 16, 2020

jobby-joo

an item in which the name or function is unbeknownst to (or has been forgotten by) the person uttering the term

“I twisted the dilly-doo until the thingy lined up with the whosie-whatsit and wouldn’t ya know it. The dingus got all gashnitzed and gashnizzled and the jobby-joo went wizz-bang out the back. Please forgive me if I’m getting too technical for you. It’s just that I’ve been workin’ in the doojigger biz since I was knee-high to a whatchamacallit and I rarely interact with you civilians.”

jobby-joo by goose_on_a_roof October 15, 2020

wizz-bang 

when something meets with an unfortunate demise or the sound made when this occurs

“I twisted the dilly-doo until the thingy lined up with the whosie-whatsit and wouldn’t ya know it. The dingus got all gashnitzed and gashnizzled and the jobby-joo went wizz-bang out the back. Please forgive me if I’m getting too technical for you. It’s just that I’ve been workin’ in the doojigger biz since I was knee-high to a whatchamacallit and I rarely interact with you civilians.”

wizz-bang by goose_on_a_roof October 15, 2020

gashnitzed and gashnizzled 

when something is all fouled up or has gone completely awry

“I twisted the dilly-doo until the thingy lined up with the whosie-whatsit and wouldn’t ya know it. The dingus got all gashnitzed and gashnizzled and the jobby-joo went wizz-bang out the back. Please forgive me if I’m getting too technical for you. It’s just that I’ve been workin’ in the doojigger biz since I was knee-high to a whatchamacallit and I rarely interact with you civilians.”

gashnitzed and gashnizzled by goose_on_a_roof October 15, 2020

dilly-doo

an item in which the name or function is unbeknownst to (or has been forgotten by) the person uttering the term

“I twisted the dilly-doo until the thingy lined up with the whosie-whatsit and wouldn’t ya know it. The dingus got all gashnitzed and gashnizzled and the jobby-joo went wizz-bang out the back. Please forgive me if I’m getting too technical for you. It’s just that I’ve been workin’ in the doojigger biz since I was knee-high to a whatchamacallit and I rarely interact with you civilians.”

dilly-doo by goose_on_a_roof October 14, 2020

Perfect Girl 

A perfect girl is the same as a regular girl but with equal parts sweet and dry vermouth (a martini typically uses dry vermouth and a Manhattan typically uses the sweet but the perfect Manhattan or perfect martini uses both).

Girl: I’m here. I got the vermouth but I didn’t know if you were making martinis or Manhattans so I picked up a bottle of each.
Boyfriend: Well aren’t you the perfect girl.

Perfect Girl by goose_on_a_roof October 11, 2020