Definitions by gnostic3

I’m not a doctor 

Preliminary sentence spoken by authority figure before any bizzare utterance to imply that any subsequent nonsensible ignorant ravings are just common sense irrespective of what the slaves to ‘Big Pharma’ keep saying.

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I’m not a doctor, but X-rays, they cause mutations right? So why not expose people full of covideo19 viruses to a bunch of X-rays? Maybe we could turn the viruses into herpes, or something else harmless that we all have?

I’m not a doctor by gnostic3 April 25, 2020

brovid19 

n. Any infection or injury acquired through interaction with a bro. Includes influenza from camping together, torn ligaments from horseplay or touch football, and syphilis.

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You look poor bro. What up?

Brovid19. Do not wrestle with Kenny until his swabs come back.

brovid19 by gnostic3 April 25, 2020

brovid19 

n. Any infection or injury acquired through interaction with a bro. Includes influenza from camping together, torn ligaments from horseplay or touch football, and syphilis.

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You look poor bro. What up?

Brovid19. Do not wrestle with Kenny until his swabs come back.

brovid19 by gnostic3 April 25, 2020

hovid19

n. Any infection obtained from a prostitute.

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Hey. I see you takin’ some pills there. Uppers?

No man. Penicillin. Got me some hovid19 on the weekend.

Nasty!

hovid19 by gnostic3 April 25, 2020

Chloro Phil 

n. Presidential advisor on all things medical

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There is absolutely no value in chloroquine, chloroplast enemas, or chlorox as treatments for covid19, but Chloro Phil has the President’s ear.

Yeah. And most of his tiny wizened brain.

Chloro Phil by gnostic3 April 24, 2020

vaticant

n. A mythical centre of negative religiosity. A beacon of despair for atheists.

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What up? The Vatican has cancelled Easter.

Sounds more like something the vaticant would do.

vaticant by gnostic3 March 18, 2020

firkytoodle 

n. A canoodle, an affectionate kiss and cuddle.

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Darling, are you up for a firkytoodle after the cricket match? Could be ripping fun.

So, in four days unless it rains? Yeah, I guess I could pencil you in.

firkytoodle by gnostic3 March 5, 2020