Definitions by gnostic3
Jasper
place. Rugged Canadian park full of pointy mountains and deep slot canyons that both provide delightful vistas and chances to lose a limb. Bears, hungry and ornery 24/7, compete with bighorn sheep and rutting elk for handouts from misguided tourists. Avalanches of snow and skiers in winter and rock in summer often flatten the frankly decaying townsite but a thriving gravel-extraction industrial plant working on the mounds of tailings from the failed gold industry and moraines from the failed glacier industry are turning things around. The recent anti-masking truck convoy passing through the park amused many of the smaller marmots and almost made up for the total lack of after-hours entertainment for which the tourists, bone-tired after long treks into the jasperiffic hinterlands, thirst.
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Phoenix
place. Delightful city in the sunbelt. Currently experiencing a very reasonable 200 heat-related deaths a year, making it slightly worse than Chernobyl for radiation morbidity. But infrared radiation, like UV from tanning beds, has always received a bye. Also has a basketball team and many grumpy dispossessed natives reduced to selling trinkets to sunburned visitors.
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duner
n. Bewildered druggie who thinks that the empty desert, and the wrinkled folk stuck living there, hold the answers to all life’s mysteries.
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Old one! I beseech you, reveal to me. the secrets of the mesquite.
Another [God-forsaken duner! If I knew life’s secrets would I and my kidneys be shriveled from chronic dehydration in this admittedly gorgeous slot canyon?