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Definitions by gnostic1

high hard one 

phrase. Ice hockey term for a fast rising slap-shot. Also a sexual euphemism.

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Hey Michelle! Here comes a high hard one. Get your trapper ready and keep your five-hole closed.
high hard one by gnostic1 July 17, 2012

heil damage 

n. destruction of property, human rights etc. that occurs when people blindly follow extremist leaders.

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What happened to all those houses of worship?

See the badly spelled slogans? Looks like heil damage.
heil damage by gnostic1 July 6, 2012

spain in the butt 

n. Accumulation of angst caused in non-Spanish soccer fans by Spain's dominance of recent international tournaments.

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What did you think of the match in Kiev? Excellent footie or what!

Bah Humbug! More spain in the butt than I can stomach! Where's the panache? Tight waisted castenet banging bull killers!

whoopsy fish 

Exclamation of joy shouted at odd British sporting events such as cricket, soccer and vicar's wick when a player is severely injured, or, conversely, when a player's shoe comes off. Also a sexual act.

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Cor Blimey! Did you see that! Whoopsy Fish! Whoopsy Fish!

Stunning rudeness that! Where's the administrator with his tiny whistle. The chap's been stumped. Oh, I say. This just isn't on.
whoopsy fish by gnostic1 July 4, 2012

Alder Flats 

place. Gritty town left beside the road on the way to prosperity. Founded in 1892 by independent spirits who were not interested in the progressive ways of the people in Rimbey.

Home of the Fighting Badgers, the tri-province soccer champs three years running (1899,1900 and 1901), and twice voted "Hamlet of the Decade" by a local pamphlet company, Alder Flats is poised to leap into the twentieth century.
I had a dream last night. Alder Flats was a rainbow and Rocky Mountain House was a scorpion chasing its tail. Aerosmith music was playing. There were rocks in the road. A lot of rocks.
Alder Flats by gnostic1 July 1, 2012

Krinkle Creek 

place. Burbling waterfall-side town in the lesser gravel bar region of Alberta. Settled by Norwegian rock collectors during the bevelled agate phase of the Western Canada gem rush.

Reliant on eco-tourism since its days as a haven for draft dodgers in the sixties, Krinkle Creek enjoys a reputation as a great place to escape from the drudgery of modern life. Visitors are guaranteed a lack of even the simplest of modern conveniences or courtesies.

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How about a walk up to Krinkle Creek to see the waterfall?

Are you mad?
Krinkle Creek by gnostic1 July 1, 2012

Stony Plain 

place. Canadian "city" solidly cemented to Edmonton's rock-strewn flank . Devoid of pretensions, quarries and night life, Stony Plain has been poised to be "the next big thing" in Upper West Central Alberta for over 125 years. Churches, bingo halls, outdoor tractor pulls, indoor gravel assessment bazaars, and a squeegee factory slated for opening in 2014, are all bringing unwanted attention to the area which is quietly trying to slide into the yielding topsoil.

Hockey, soccer and table tennis are all sports watched on TV in Stony Plain where HBO is just a dream.

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No community hosts a slo-pitch tournament like Stony Plain.

Well there's something to be thankful for.
Stony Plain by gnostic1 June 30, 2012