gnostic 1's definitions

goat parade

n. Any needlessly festive over-hyped celebration put on for the benefit of the organizers rather than the participants. Usually arranged by a government agency or a corporation to show that they are one with the people.

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Why all the bunting and balloons on Main Street? Did we finally win a war?

No. It's another goat parade. We're honoring finger-painters that have made a difference.

Will there be cake?

by gnostic 1 October 7, 2013

enormoose

adj. Really, really large. Huge in fact.

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That debt is enormoose! You think you're the government or something?

Is that rhetorical?

Could be. Is rhetorical the one where I don't have to answer?

Yeah.

So I've already ruined that.

by gnostic 1 October 7, 2013

charmageddon

n. A full-on irresistable James Francoesque charm storm of Biblical proportions.

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Babe at four o'clock, but don't even bother. She is totally out of your league.

I'm going in. Don't wait up. No one can resist my charmageddon.

So I'll see you in five minutes?

Three.

by gnostic 1 October 7, 2013

warmageddon

n. The oft-predicted final battle over the destiny of Earth's soul between the believers in global warming and the followers of Satan (or between the Global Warming Conspirators and the Holders of the True Knowledge).

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Pretty frigid today, ehh?

That's a sign of the coming warmageddon.

How is that even possible?

You'll see. You'll all see!

by gnostic 1 October 3, 2013

harmageddon

n. Confrontation in which hurt, physical or psychological, of Biblical proportion is inflicted one's opponent. Often used in jest or in sporting circumstances.

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Yo! This weekend me and my crew are going to lay some harmageddon on you. You hear me? You will cry!

You know it's just a chess match, right?

Whatever dude. Just bring your tear-proof pawns.

by gnostic 1 October 2, 2013

farmageddon

n.Unfortunate event which destroys a crop or otherwise damages a farm's existence.

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Yessir. I reckon it was before you was born, before the farmageddon, but this here used to be wheatfields as far as the eye could see. That was before they built them pipelines.

But after you and grandma stole the land from the Indians?

You hankerin' a whipping boy?

by gnostic 1 October 2, 2013

goalie fight

n. From ice hockey. An incongruous event that really should not be happening, shows utter incoordination, poor planning, and a lack of proper attire, and yet is hypnotically entertaining.

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So I hear the mayor of Chicago went up against the gun-control folks. How did that go?

Total goalie fight.

by gnostic 1 September 23, 2013