gimmedatsammich's definitions

Jump Scare

A tactic used in horror movies to scare people, the jump scare is used by unimaginative filmmakers as a cheap method of frightening the audience; i.e, making them literally "jump" out of their seats. This device is being increasingly employed in modern horror movies, along with gratuitous amounts of gore, because the directors have forgotten how to actually scare people.

A scantily clad, bosomy teenager who hears a suspicious noise in her empty house on a rainy night while watching a movie gets up from the couch to investigate its source. Walking slowly, she calls out, "Is anybody there?" As she nears the kitchen, a black cat streaks across the hallway, accompanied by a loud, piercing measure of orchestral music. "Oh, whiskers, you silly cat, you scared me!" she says, breathing a sigh of relief. She turns around, anxious to get back to her movie, when an axe suddenly buries itself in her skull.

Most of the audience screams in fright. However, the veteran horror movie fans in the theater have seen way too many cheap uses of the jump scare to be fooled. They shake their heads and think about the good old days when movies like The Shining were actually able to genuinely scare them.

by gimmedatsammich April 6, 2011

Modern Warfare 2

The sequel to Infinity Ward's 2007 masterpiece, Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.

Set to release on November 10th, 2009, this game will blow your mind, and that's a fact. Don't ask me for my time machine, because I don't need one to know that that's true.

guy #1: Dude did you hear about Modern Warfare 2?

guy #2: No dude, what's that.

guy #1: (bitch slaps guy #2) That question doesn't even deserve a response.

by gimmedatsammich March 26, 2009

Old people porn

Pornography that showcases the appalling and questionably legal act of two or more old fuckers having hot, steamy old people sex. Usually can be found under the "Mature" category on most porn sites.

See lemonparty for more information.

Jimmy Nichols: Dad, what is old people porn?

Mr. Nichols: Shut the fuck up and eat your goddamn peas Jimmy. I don't have time for your bullshit.

by gimmedatsammich June 1, 2011

Eat shit and die

The quintessential insult, the godfather of all putdowns, and a drunken sailor's best friend; it leaves no room for reconciliation.

Eating shit is bad enough (can you think of anything worse?) but wishing DEATH upon someone? That is treading in shark infested waters. Be wary, my son; utter these words only in the darkest of hours, when all other aspersions fail you.

You no good, two cent whore! You're just like your mother! Eat shit and die!

by gimmedatsammich December 5, 2011

30h!3

A band that produces music intended to be listened to while taking a large, steamy shit.

I had violent diarrhea the other day while listening to "House Party" by 30h!3.

by gimmedatsammich September 6, 2010

Quarter assed

When you can't even muster half of an ass to do something you deem undesirable, such as mowing your lawn, writing a book report, or raising your children.

My boss told me to have the sales figures drawn up on the double. It was Friday afternoon, so I put together a quarter assed powerpoint presentation for the meeting.

by gimmedatsammich February 14, 2012

Trigonometry

Useless bullshit that you'll forget the second you graduate from high school.

Me: Hey Mrs. Smith, when am I ever going to use trigonometry?

Mrs. Smith: On the next test.

Me: Go fuck yourself you scruffy bitch.

by gimmedatsammich September 13, 2010