12 definitions by gimmedatsammich

Top Definition
Useless bullshit that you'll forget the second you graduate from high school.
Me: Hey Mrs. Smith, when am I ever going to use trigonometry?

Mrs. Smith: On the next test.

Me: Go fuck yourself you scruffy bitch.
by gimmedatsammich September 12, 2010
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A tactic used in horror movies to scare people, the jump scare is used by unimaginative filmmakers as a cheap method of frightening the audience; i.e, making them literally "jump" out of their seats. This device is being increasingly employed in modern horror movies, along with gratuitous amounts of gore, because the directors have forgotten how to actually scare people.
A scantily clad, bosomy teenager who hears a suspicious noise in her empty house on a rainy night while watching a movie gets up from the couch to investigate its source. Walking slowly, she calls out, "Is anybody there?" As she nears the kitchen, a black cat streaks across the hallway, accompanied by a loud, piercing measure of orchestral music. "Oh, whiskers, you silly cat, you scared me!" she says, breathing a sigh of relief. She turns around, anxious to get back to her movie, when an axe suddenly buries itself in her skull.

Most of the audience screams in fright. However, the veteran horror movie fans in the theater have seen way too many cheap uses of the jump scare to be fooled. They shake their heads and think about the good old days when movies like The Shining were actually able to genuinely scare them.
by gimmedatsammich March 21, 2011
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The quintessential insult, the godfather of all putdowns, and a drunken sailor's best friend; it leaves no room for reconciliation.

Eating shit is bad enough (can you think of anything worse?) but wishing DEATH upon someone? That is treading in shark infested waters. Be wary, my son; utter these words only in the darkest of hours, when all other aspersions fail you.
You no good, two cent whore! You're just like your mother! Eat shit and die!
by gimmedatsammich December 05, 2011
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Being lazy is not an affliction; it is a blessing. Those of us who embrace laziness soon wonder why we tried so long to deny ourselves its comforts. People are fucked, the world is fucked, so sit back and light up. What else you got to do?

Bro 1: You lazy cunt, that's the fifth time you've watched "The Big Lebowski" in the past two days. This rent ain't paying itself, you know.

Bro 2: Chill dude, you're clogging up my airway with your progressiveness. Now pass me that roach, why don't you.
by gimmedatsammich November 09, 2010
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The average/failing/truant student's greatest enemy. No longer are your attendance and academic records only seen by your parents every six weeks. With Infinite Campus, your mother and father have instant access to your grades and attendance records. So if you have a 2.5 GPA and regularly skip bullshit classes, like me, you're fucked.
I got the whooping of my life last night when my dad saw that I got a 38% on my trigonometry test.

Fuck you Infinite Campus.
by gimmedatsammich February 22, 2011
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Pornography in which the genitals are censored out of the video. Because genitals are nasty. No one wants to see that shit.
He might as well be squeezing toothpaste onto her face, Rajif thought as he watched the end of the Japanese porn.
by gimmedatsammich February 05, 2011
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A band that produces music intended to be listened to while taking a large, steamy shit.
I had violent diarrhea the other day while listening to "House Party" by 30h!3.
by gimmedatsammich September 06, 2010
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