Mike: Let's take a selfie together in our new car.
Jen: Why? That's just weird.
Mike: Come on... We're just like the people in the brochure!
Jen: I've been meaning to talk to you about this.
Mike: What baby? We have a trendy apartment, great fashion sense, and now a new car.
Jen: I'm worried that you suffer from Getty Imagery.
Mike: That stock photo thing?
Jen: Yes. Our apartment sucks, you look like shit most of the time, and we'll be paying for that car for 7 years.
Mike: Yeah but the photo is the only thing that matters. I can post it on all my social media accounts.
Jen: Hmm.
Jen: Why? That's just weird.
Mike: Come on... We're just like the people in the brochure!
Jen: I've been meaning to talk to you about this.
Mike: What baby? We have a trendy apartment, great fashion sense, and now a new car.
Jen: I'm worried that you suffer from Getty Imagery.
Mike: That stock photo thing?
Jen: Yes. Our apartment sucks, you look like shit most of the time, and we'll be paying for that car for 7 years.
Mike: Yeah but the photo is the only thing that matters. I can post it on all my social media accounts.
Jen: Hmm.
by geekmalone June 04, 2024
Mike: Baby, we can finally buy that boat, and maybe even another car!
Jen: What have I told you about wasting our money on lotto tickets?
Mike: This isn't lotto. Down at the election board, we just received a $3M grant from The Center for Tech and Civic Life. Everybody is getting a big raise!
Jen: That's a Zuckerberg Grant...
Mike: The Twitter Guy? No this is a special organization for helping election boards. They provide free training and election administration.
Jen: Zuckerberg is the Facebook Guy. He's the money behind that organization. Aren't you suspicious about a billionaire buying his way into the election process?
Mike: Yeah maybe, but we're finally gonna get that boat we've wanted!
Jen: You wanted... That whole Zuckerberg Grant thing sounds totally fucking bogus to me.
Mike: Yeah but a new boat, Honey...
Jen: What have I told you about wasting our money on lotto tickets?
Mike: This isn't lotto. Down at the election board, we just received a $3M grant from The Center for Tech and Civic Life. Everybody is getting a big raise!
Jen: That's a Zuckerberg Grant...
Mike: The Twitter Guy? No this is a special organization for helping election boards. They provide free training and election administration.
Jen: Zuckerberg is the Facebook Guy. He's the money behind that organization. Aren't you suspicious about a billionaire buying his way into the election process?
Mike: Yeah maybe, but we're finally gonna get that boat we've wanted!
Jen: You wanted... That whole Zuckerberg Grant thing sounds totally fucking bogus to me.
Mike: Yeah but a new boat, Honey...
by geekmalone March 17, 2021
The industry of service providers that allow adults to continue their vain high school lifestyles into adulthood.
Facebook and Twitter are two of the biggest companies in The High School Vanity Continuation Industry. Who would have ever thought that a billion people wanted to continue high school bullshit into adulthood?
by geekmalone May 05, 2020
Mike: White cops are killing Black men for no legitimate reason and I'm sick of it!
Jen: BOSTIT!
Mike: What the fuck is BOSTIT?
Jen: Based On Something That Isn't True. Your assertion that White cops are randomly killing Black men is BOSTIT.
Mike: Wait a second... For one thing, I'm the person in this relationship responsible for stupid ass acronyms, and...
Jen: SAA's?
Mike: Yes! And what the fuck has gotten into you? And another thing, it's been proven by statistics!
Jen: Like the Freddie Gray case?
Mike: Yeah!
Jen: Three of the six cops on that case were Black. And by the way, all of the cops were eventually acquited.
Mike: Yes but there's systemic racism in most police departments!
Jen: Another BOSTIT. Police departments strive to hire officers of color. Just look at them and you'll see.
Mike: Yes, but you can't deny that White cops killl Black men.
Jen: Well, cops are engaging in LAW ENFORCEMENT after all. Were you aware that more than ten times more White cops are killed by Black men than unarmed Black men are killed by cops?
Mike: That frazzled logic doesn't make it okay.
Jen: I never said that it did, but I just want you to think about things before you spew forth with your nonsense.
Mike: You've changed.
Jen: You haven't, but you're still my funky fucked up love interest from the West side.
Mike: Ah Baby.
Jen: BOSTIT!
Mike: What the fuck is BOSTIT?
Jen: Based On Something That Isn't True. Your assertion that White cops are randomly killing Black men is BOSTIT.
Mike: Wait a second... For one thing, I'm the person in this relationship responsible for stupid ass acronyms, and...
Jen: SAA's?
Mike: Yes! And what the fuck has gotten into you? And another thing, it's been proven by statistics!
Jen: Like the Freddie Gray case?
Mike: Yeah!
Jen: Three of the six cops on that case were Black. And by the way, all of the cops were eventually acquited.
Mike: Yes but there's systemic racism in most police departments!
Jen: Another BOSTIT. Police departments strive to hire officers of color. Just look at them and you'll see.
Mike: Yes, but you can't deny that White cops killl Black men.
Jen: Well, cops are engaging in LAW ENFORCEMENT after all. Were you aware that more than ten times more White cops are killed by Black men than unarmed Black men are killed by cops?
Mike: That frazzled logic doesn't make it okay.
Jen: I never said that it did, but I just want you to think about things before you spew forth with your nonsense.
Mike: You've changed.
Jen: You haven't, but you're still my funky fucked up love interest from the West side.
Mike: Ah Baby.
by geekmalone June 14, 2020
People who have become somewhat wealthy due to inheritance or luck; and who are also certain that they are above others, even though they are dumb as fuck.
Every city has its share of smug idiots. They're so fucking proud of themselves. But on closer inspection, you'll see that they're as empty as the post modern bullshit lofts that they live in.
by geekmalone August 16, 2020
Knowingly engaging in dishonest journalism with the belief that the effect of the dishonesty will outweigh the penalty from the dishonesty. Examples of Suicide Bomber Journalism include malicious editing of a piece and leaving material facts out of a piece.
Sixty Minutes engaged in Suicide Bomber Journalism in their interview of Governor Rick DeSantis. Their editing of the piece was quite malicious indeed. It's unlikely that their viewers will ever know or care.
by geekmalone April 08, 2021
Whenever you hear "Does anyone have any questions?" after a long speech of zero value; you know you're dealing with a soulless corporate fuckwad.
by geekmalone November 06, 2020