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fuzzygreysocks's definitions

beauty candle

An attribute which begins to burn immediately at first impression as the viewer becomes increasingly aware the subject is indeed NOT attractive to look at.
Typically, as a romance wanes the candle burns faster.
The beauty candle for some women burns rather rapidly; almost a flare, really.

For others the beauty candle burns slow, taking hours, days or even years to realize "Hmm... She's kinda weird looking. Not pretty at all. What was I thinking"
by fuzzygreysocks January 25, 2010
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girl minute

equal in time to about ten, maybe fifteen, guy minutes.
Baby, yelling from the bedroom walk-in closet "I'll be ready in just a minute, Honey"
Honey, sitting on the living room couch for the last half hour deleting things from his cell phone "K, Baby. Is that a girl minute or a boy minute?"
"Girl!"
Honey turns on the TV, kicks up his shoes on the coffee table, throws the remote to the other side of the couch.
by fuzzygreysocks June 8, 2010
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vampire tits

Breasts so unattractive they should never see the light of day.
Steve vurped when she removed her bikini.
"Vampire tits!" he thought, as he turned off the merciful lights.
by fuzzygreysocks November 18, 2010
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functional dysfunctional

A person whom while able to minimally function in society, hold a job (at varying degrees of success), feed, clothe & house themselves still remain a disaster at nearly all other personal & social aspects of life.

They are your severely disturbed, paranoid and/or inappropriate coworkers, family & friends, yet remain gainfully employed, operate vehicles daily and manage to not starve to death.
Because of their multiple failed relationships and substance abuse charges, Brittney & Lindsey remain the poster children for the functional dysfunctional.
by fuzzygreysocks January 26, 2010
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TS Ticket

Tough Sh!t Ticket (archaic). An imaginary/facetious "ticket" (as in train ticket) to someplace that doesn't exist, like Pity City. Essentially meaning "too bad, so sad, you ain't getting what you want, I am unsympathetic to your dilemma or plight".

Alternatively, some sort of financial aid or assistance for those experiencing hard times, like food stamps or WIC vouchers.
Awwwww. I'm so sorry your girl/boy friend is sick and you failed your test. Here... Let me get you a pair of TS Tickets to Pity City and you two can have a good day.
by fuzzygreysocks February 8, 2010
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retail alumni

A fan of a college or university's sports team only because they bought or own a shirt from it but never graduated from it.
Their exclusive association is through being a fan of the college or university's sports team.
Often the fan is too stupid to graduate college but can regurgitate great volumes of team fact, history and legend.
Steve is a retail alumni for Alabama only because his inbred uncle-daddy and cousins are also a retail alumni.
None of them have even set foot on campus, let alone attended, and probably couldn't even show you where it was on a map.
by fuzzygreysocks March 29, 2010
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non-thriving organism

NTO; A person, pet or creature destined to pitifully struggle through a miserable life just barely on the threshold of existence due to mental defect, congenital stupidity or substance abuse.

Maybe just a half-step below the functional dysfunctional.
An NTO will be lucky to survive to achieve reproductive maturity, not that they'll have the opportunity once there.
Unable to hold a steady job, Steve moved back home with his mom, again, whom was gravely disappointed at her adult non-thriving organism son.
by fuzzygreysocks February 23, 2010
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