An affliction of males characterized by unusual behaviours in the men's room. Urinal anxiety is manifest in the actions of a man who walks into the men's room and heads directly toward the urinals, but -upon seeing another man already standing at a nearby urinal- immediately changes course for the stalls. Urinal anxiety afflicts a substantial number of males who have a phobia about pissing in a location where another male might notice their schlong (as if other males would have an interest in someone else's schlong...). The most extreme form of urinal anxiety is usually seen in locations using the old "trough" urinals often placed in ball park restrooms. The afflicted male approaches the other happy, piss-spattering companions, pulls his dick out, and... and... and... (after a long delay) zips his dick back up, unable to urinate, and shame-facedly departs the restroom unsatisfied.
Damn, Frank never uses the urinals. The other day he went into the women's room at the ball park to avoid the trough. I think he's gripped by urinal anxiety.
by Frank Klaune February 20, 2005
In nominal terms, a dickstick is another term for a dildo. By extrapolation, "dickstick" is a Tomism (see Tomism) and used as a mild insult to one's intelligence. Useable as a substitute for "dipshit", "dickstick" usually indicates one's displeasure of another person's actions.
P1: "Hey, Tom look. Frank just took the last piece of pizza."
T: "Oh, that dickstick! I didn't even get to eat any!"
T: "Oh, that dickstick! I didn't even get to eat any!"
by Frank Klaune March 15, 2004
Euphemism for any substance (usually hand lotion, soap, KY jelly, etc.) used as lubricant to facilitate male masturbation activity.
Man, Franq was so drunk the other night. He got home and didn't know what he was doing so he used Easy Off for palm balm. Now he has a rash on his dick. That Franq is an idiot.
by Frank Klaune November 11, 2004
Low viscosity excrement. The term "liquid thunder" is mainly used when describing loud, nasty shitting done by small babies.
Damn, Frank handed me the baby but just as soon as he did that I noticed there was liquid thunder running down the kid's leg.
by Frank Klaune January 21, 2005
Phrase used to describe a police officer's application of the baton upside the head of some stupid bastard who deserves it.
Frank was watching "COPS" last night when we were over. We watched some dudes who stole some poor lady's car and went on a high speed chase all over town. They rammed several cop cars then totalled the stolen car on an embankment. Damn, it was good to see the officers soften the meat on the driver!
by Frank Klaune May 01, 2005
Phrase used to diffrentiate between the act of shaking of the schlong (after urination) as compared to the act of masturbation. The phrase is best illustrated in the military when a drill sergeant barks at a recruit (who is urinating), "more than than three shakes is pleasure and that's not what you're here for.' The original phrase "shaken not stirred" has an obvious root in the James Bond movies, but also serves a different context. In this sense it is often used in contempt.
We were in a hurry, but Frank had to piss first. Damn, but he took forever in the mens room. Mike was getting pissed off and joked that maybe he was beating off. I finally stuck my head in the door and yelled, "LET'S GO! SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED!"
by Frank Klaune May 01, 2005
by Frank Klaune May 02, 2005