frank klaune's definitions

fuck her headlights out

Term used to describe vigorous sex with a some hot bitch. Usually used in a hypothetical situation- bar talk.

Frank was all boozed up when he gestured to that bitch in the corner and said to me, "hey... how would you like to fuck her headlights out." Frank is such a moron.

by Frank Klaune June 24, 2006

K-Mart Liturgy

You get up on a Sunday morning, take a shower, dress, then head out of the house. Your family is very sure that you are a good boy, heading out to go to church. Instead of attending church services, however, you go to K-Mart and spend just the appropriate amount of time there browsing merchandise so upon your return, your ruse is very convincing.

Frank's parents think he is such a good boy but we know the truth. He did a K-Mart Liturgy and bought condoms.

by Frank Klaune January 24, 2005

snorgasm

Frat-house term for an unsatisfactory orgasm. The term is often used to describe a relatively disappointing ejaculation (cum shot) in a pornographic movie.

Man, Frank bought that French porn movie and we thought it was going to be real cool, but in the end, it was nothing but a snorgasm.

by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004

sippin penis

The term dates back to a camping outing in the late 80's where a friend of "House" (whom we called "Elvis") was having an inebriated conversation in which blowjobs (oral sex) was compared with whiskey. The analogy stated that you can have quick, nasty oral sex such as a quicky blowjob in a public restroom or in your car and that compares with the cheap, off-brands of whiskey which you also drink hastily and "chug" down. On the other hand, you have the finer, more desireable blowjobs where you are much more relaxed, take your time and truly enjoy the whole sexual experience much more, such as one done privately with some extremely hot girl you are dating. In turn, this compares with the finer, more expensive, quality bourbons which are poured into nice snifters or tumblers and sipped slowly at a special time and enjoyed much more- such as with fine Kentucky sipping whiskey. At this point someone asked "Elvis" if this meant that a quality blowjob meant you had a "sipping penis" and the group consensus was yes, indeed. A fine, quality blowjob was indicative of a "sipping penis". Of course, when "Elvis" used the term with his southern drawl, it was soon emulated with the spelling "sippin" and the penis term likewise pronounced in accord with the dialect.

Jennifer and I went on vacation. We spent the weekend in her folks' cabin and while watching the sun set on the porch, she gave me a knob job. Man, that was the best BJ I've ever had... she was truly sippin' penis!

by Frank Klaune December 16, 2004

ring the bell

To severely hit or smack another person. One is usually in the hurt bag after having their bell rung. See dial tone.

Damn, when Frank told the chick that she was fat, she just rang his bell right there in the bar. Man, he hit the floor!

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

farmer snort

Plugging one nostril by placing the index finger on it while blowing out the other one in order to discharge nasal mucus on the ground. The "farmer snort" is a quick, efficient way to blow your nose. Unfortunately, it's also a quick, efficient way to guarantee you won't get a second date either.

Damn, Frank was pretty glued when he was at Mike's house. First he farted out loud, then he did a farmer snort on the living room carpet. Mike dial toned him on the spot.

by Frank Klaune May 1, 2005

erection rejection

1) When standing in public with an intentionally huge bulge in your pants so that your girl (or any girl) can plainly see your state of excitement, and such girl(s) ignore you.

2) When dirty dancing with your girlfriend and you rub your big ol doinker against her leg (or any other body part) and she is turned off (not attracted to) your ovations.

Man, I really had blueballs the other day after Jen gave me erection rejection.

by Frank Klaune October 20, 2004