figurinoutlife's definitions

Google Punting

A strategy used to conceal ignorance in a debate when unable to answer a question by deferring to a Google search as "proof" that a good answer exists.

Google Punting is an intellectually lazy way out of an argument. In essence, it is an admission of defeat by saying "I don't know, and I'm unable to put together an intelligent argument, but someone else probably could. Plus, this is great because I'm forcing you to do all the work, while implying that you're the lazy one (not me) because you couldn't look it up yourself. And, if you're stupid enough to do it, it's even better because if you find something that disproves my point I can counter with 'hey, I didn't say that', or 'you're just cherry-picking' *and* send you back searching for the 'real' answer".

by FigurinOutLife September 30, 2012

Henry Gates

A recent example of how race and victimhood are so integral to Black America's interpretation of the world around them, trumping even high levels of education, wealth and success by replacing them with pride, paranoia and blame.

White officer: "Sir, we had a report of a break in. Is this your house?"

Henry Gates Jr: "RACIST! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO BLACK MEN IN AMERICA, DAMMIT! YOU THINK A BLACK MAN LIKE ME COULD NEVER LIVE IN A NICE HOME LIKE THIS?"

Officer: "No, sir, really, we had a call from your neighbor about a break-in. I just need to see some ID so that I know who you are and if this is really your house"

HGJ: "WHAT? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM, PUBIC SERVANT? YOU PROBABLY MAKE LESS THAN 1% OF WHAT I DO AND IT BOTHERS YOU BECAUSE I'M BLACK, DOESN'T IT?!?"

Officer: "There's no need to shout, and this is not about race. This can be resolved if you just show me your ID..."

HGJ: "THAT IS SUCH TYPICAL WHITE BULLS**T. OF COURSE IT'S ABOUT RACE! YOU'RE JUST SO DAMN INSENSITIVE YOU CAN"T SEE IT! LISTEN, WHITEY, I AM NOT JUST A POWERFUL MAN AT HARVARD, I KNOW THE PRESIDENT, DAMMIT. IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, HE'S BLACK TOO! ARE YOU GETTING THE PICTURE NOW?"

Officer: "Look, this is all just standard procedure, nothing else. If you don't produce some ID and calm down, I may have to arrest you."

HGJ: "YO MAMA! DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE MESSING WITH? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"

Officer: "Well, if you showed me your ID I would..."

HGJ: "WHAT, DO YOU THINK I'M YOU'RE SLAVE OR SOMETHING? THAT I JUST DO WHATEVER YOU SAY? WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT?"

Officer: "The law."

HGJ: "THY MAMA! I DEMAND TO SEE *YOUR* ID! HA! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?"

Officer: "Fine, here's the same ID I showed you after I first knocked. Sir, if someone were breaking into your house and pretending to be you, I'm sure you would want me to verify their identity rather than take their word for it and let them loot your house, right?"

HGJ: "YOU DARE THINK THAT YOU CAN USE LOGIC ON ME? I AM A POWERFUL MAN AT HARVARD. H-A-R-V-A-R-D, DAMMIT! WHERE DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL? OH, HA, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T! SO LET ME SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU IN SIMPLE WORDS: I AM ABOVE YOU. YOU ARE NOTHING. I KNOW THE PRESIDENT. I WILL GET YOU FIRED FOR THIS!"

Officer: "You'd POLTER someone just because they're doing their job?"

HGJ: "SO BAD YOU'LL BE EMIGRATING TO MEXICO AND HOPING YOU COULD ONE DAY ASPIRE TO BECOME A STUPID WET-BACK. I CAN SAY THAT, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE I AM BLACK AND A BLACK MAN CANNOT BE A RACIST"

Black Bystander: "This man is embarassing me and my race... may I suggest you use your nightstick, officer?"

by figurinoutlife July 28, 2009

Afrocentrism

Afrocentrism is a set of beliefs that depicts ancient African achievement as the driver and foundation for modern philosophical thoughts and technologies. Afrocentrism verges on being classified as a religious faith because of the required suspension of skepticism and the irrelevance of empirical evidence. Afrocentrism is a backlash against the pervasive and powerful negative images of black (African) people that exist in the world today. These images arise from the countries, regions and cities that are dominated by blacks, each one being mired in poverty, violence, AIDS, famine and in constant need of support from other countries or other races. Without words, these images stir up powerful needs among blacks to imagine a glorious past where they were once the center of the world and looked down upon everyone else. To conduct Afrocentric research, one simply searches for evidence that could be interpreted as blacks ruling over others or inventing things. No further thought process is required.

Napoleon shot of the Spinx's nose because it "looked" like a black nose and he didn't want the world to know that blacks ruled ancient Egypt. Or, images within an Egyptian tomb that appear similar to a glider are evidence that blacks "invented" flight because, of course, the Egyptians were black then even though they are not now. And where is the physical evidence of these devices and their implementation? Again, no further thought process is required.

by FigurinOutLife March 24, 2004

omorosa factor

A slang term for the degree of risk white employers take when hiring black employees. It was coined in honor of a black female contestant on a reality show called "The Apprentice" who had very little value as an employee and an infamous ability to irritate all those around her. She wore her race and gender on her sleeve, using them to bait or bash other contestants on the show. When "fired" from the show, she immediately accused the cast members of calling her a "nigger" and of racial antagonism during the show. She received a lot of media attention, as those who play the race card usually do, and despite her lack of credibility (e.g. she *forgot* who it was that called her a "nigger", whether or not anyone else was around, when it happened, and why the cameras didn't catch it), she was invited back to the show. Thus demonstrating that there is a penalty for those called a racist, but not for those who call others a racist and are proven to be liars.

Companies fear hiring people like Omorosa. People who sell themselves very strongly, display up-front confidence and have a suitable resume, yet in the end offer no value to the company as an employee, create an environment of conflict and hatred among other employees, and is a walking time bomb waiting to scream "racism" or "sexism" the moment something doesn't go their way (e.g. denied a raise, promotion, or is fired).

The Omorosa factor is a value that ranges from zero (no risk) to one (the employee is actually Omorosa herself). It is used to multiply another value called the O-cost, which is typically a fixed percentage of the company's value. This is amount that will normally be sued for. Multiplying the two gives a company an idea of how much risk they are taking on by hiring the employee.

Subordinate: "Sir, management wants to increase diversity in our department. Perhaps we should give extra weight to minority applicants."
Manager: "Agreed. We can kill two birds with one stone by hiring a black woman, that way we get gender and race at the same time. Do we have any that are handicapped or veterans as well? That would be the best!"
Subordinate: "No, sir, just this one black woman is on the list: Jawanda. She seems fairly qualified."
Manager: "Invite her in."
Jawanda: "I am a strong, black woman from the Bronx and I will kick ass in this white male-dominated field."
Manager: "Sorry, your Omorosa factor is too high. Next..."

by FigurinOutLife September 22, 2005

Vet the Veep

Republican slang for masturbation.

Cindy McCain: "John! Just what are you doing going into the closet again with those pictures of Sarah Palin in her bathingsuit?"
John McCain: "Nothing, dear, I'm just going to vet the veep."

by FigurinOutLife November 1, 2008

diversity

(Cultural) Originally, diversity of ideas and viewpoints were recognized as important to many different endeavors such as learning and decision-making - the idea being that the over time the best ideas and/or viewpoints would win out in fair competition. Unfortunately, once this concept was generally embraced as a good thing, it was subsequently perverted and has become a euphemism for quota preferences given to politically favored minority groups in such areas as hiring, promotion, granting of federal contracts and admission into educational systems.

Genuine diversity would imply that someone from Greenland or New Zealand would be a welcome addition to increase the diversity of a university culture. Instead, administrators believe their university somehow becomes more diverse by adding one more black from down the road, increasing black % enrollment from 7.23% to 7.24%. Odd how administrators never seem to notice that blacks don't really contribute to diversity anyway since blacks usually restrict their company to that of other blacks in the student union, classroom, fraternity, university clubs, etc.

by FigurinOutLife October 4, 2005

brevity

The soul of wit

Brevity is gold, for life is short and my attention span shorter.

by FigurinOutLife September 23, 2005