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Definitions by dr. badwrench

Captain of the Carpet Ship 

A title bestowed upon one who is drunk and passed out on the floor, like they are piloting the carpet.
Shit, man! You were Captain of the Carpet Ship last night.

shit shark 

a person employed to pump out and clean septic tanks or portable toilets
I can't believe Joe makes $22 an hour. He's a fuckin' shit shark.

Union job, dude.
shit shark by Dr. Badwrench September 22, 2006

blue tip wrench 

oxyacetylene cutting torch

"blue tip" from the blue torch flame
"wrench" for the tool's versatility and the speed at which it can be used to disassemble damn near anything

A favorite of "redneck engineers"

Also called a smokewrench
Fuck! The damn bolt's froze solid! Gimme the blue tip wrench, I'll get that fucker loose!
blue tip wrench by Dr. Badwrench September 22, 2006

redneck engineering 

The use of unorthodox methods and tools to build, modify or repair machinery, vehicles, etc, usually with little regard to finesse or technique.

Common tools include: sledgehammers, cutting torches, arc welders, come-alongs, jacks, porta-power kits, large prybars, sawzalls, lengths of pipe and 2 X 4s

So named for the stereotypical redneck who fixes things through brute force and duct tape.
The popular TV shows Monster Garage and Junkyard Wars often feature great masterpieces of redneck engineering
redneck engineering by Dr. Badwrench September 22, 2006

smokewrench

An oxyacetylene cutting torch
Gimme the smokewrench, this fuckin' U-bolt is rusted solid.
smokewrench by Dr. Badwrench September 22, 2006

necrochondriac 

A goth, vampire wannabe or other fake undead wanker

necro = dead
chondriac - from hypochondriac

One who prettends they are dead, to the point of belief.

Characterized by dark clothing, white face makeup with black lipstick and eye makeup, usually sporting cross or wannabe satanic jewelry, coffin-themed acessories, etc.
Look at those Ann Rice-loving tossers! Bunch of necrochondriac fucks! HEY! You're not black sheep, you're sheep in black!

Sportster 

All-time best street bike ever built. Introduced by Harley Davidson in 1957 to combat the invading British Triumphs, Nortons and BSAs on the track and on the street. The best selling middleweight motorcycle in history.

Unique among Harleys, the Sportster engine and transmission are in one case, whereas the so-called Big Twins have a seperate transmission case. Pre 1986 Sportsters featured iron heads and are called (DUH!) Ironheads. '86 to present are the next generation Evolution, or Evo, Sportster and feature alloy heads and a 5-speed transmission. The most recent models feature rubber-mounted engines.

Sportster-based motorcycles have dominated flat-track racing since the late 1960s. Many early choppers and customs were built from Sportsters, as well as land speed record bikes.

Calling a Sportster a "girl's bike" or "Shortster" may result in a visit to a dentist.
Lots of Yuppie Softail wankers ignore the fact an 883 Sportster makes almost as many horses as their Evo Big Twin, but the Sporty is two hundred pounds lighter. No contest, Sportsters kick ass!
Sportster by Dr. Badwrench July 10, 2006