8 definition by dontkillalljewspls

Top Definition
Noun: to summarize, one who sits around and acts like they're an expert on something, yet they've had no involvement or factual research of it.

A typical armchair philosopher is somebody who is a complete know-it-all, usually a douchebag or self-declared intellectual. They always feel the need to seem intellectually superior to others, by continuously arguing about any subject they see in media, conversations, etc. and quoting themselves as experts on the subject. Most conversations with armchair philosophers contain their opinions restated as knowledge, false or misheard/rumored "facts", and other idiocy. Especially noted is how armchair philosophers typically do nothing to prove their intelligence: they sit around on the sidelines and make judgements where careful analysis is needed. Topics can range anywhere from video games on a message board to the origins of the universe. They are also extremely prevalent on the Internet, where they can act douchey under the guise of anonymity. This is a common form of trolling.

Armchair philosophers are named after the old stereotype of old rich men in robes smoking pipes, sitting by the fire, pretending to know a thing about politics.

It is also notable, especially concerning the under-descriptive and generic language and baseless accusations, plus the long-winded description of armchair pholisophers, that this entire definition is composed of armchair philosophy.
Jake is such a damn armchair philosopher, acting like he's known that Senate election candidate his whole life. He's probably never even voted!
by dontkillalljewspls March 20, 2010

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Easily killed in an online video game. Applies mainly to certain classes or loadouts that trade durability for power or mobility.
The Scout class in TF2 is squishy.
by dontkillalljewspls July 17, 2016

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An electronic porn rectangle.
Mike remembered to renew his Brazzers subscription before buying a new tablet to replace the Kindle Fire he got last Christmas.
by dontkillalljewspls December 29, 2012

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A noob that tries an online multiplayer game after seeing it being played on streams. Unlike most new players, Twitch tourists falsely believe they are already masters of the game, even though they have no idea what the experienced players they watch are actually trying to do, and will relentlessly flame their teammates on this basis. Often they will try and fail to imitate unorthodox strategies they saw, to everyone else's amusement.

Usually found in droves after the world championship of an esports game. Most common in free-to-play games that don't require daddy's credit card to try.
This fucking Twitch tourist bitched at us and ragequit after getting rekt. Classic.
by dontkillalljewspls September 02, 2019

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A video game that has incredibly beautiful graphics, but no real artistic or entertainment value.
After seeing some videos online, I was stoked to play Crysis, but it turned out to be graphics porn.
by dontkillalljewspls June 07, 2012

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A mediocre and generally useless programming language composed of C and Smalltalk poorly stitched together. It is basically Apple's own little Visual Basic.

Objective-C is the language of choice when developing applications for iOS, which is literally the only reason you would ever want to use it.
Thanks to Objective-C, we have more than enough fart and Sudoku apps to go around.
by dontkillalljewspls June 29, 2011

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To be so obsessed with trannies that you are incapable of shutting up about them, and blame them for all of modern society's problems. Victims of Tranny Derangement Syndrome will bring up their hatred of trannies in literally any online discussion, no matter what is being discussed, and stir up pointless drama among people that don't give a shit.

The conservative analogue of Trump Derangement Syndrome.
"What does sex change surgery have to do with a thread about computers? No one wants to hear about this gross shit. Fuck off with the Tranny Derangement Syndrome, no one cares."

"STFU DILATE AND KYS TRANNY"
by dontkillalljewspls March 31, 2020

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