15 definitions by cuksocker

Andy W

Two-handed reach around (derived from 'handy double you')

Did you get a reach around?' 'Even better, an Andy W.'

by cuksocker November 18, 2010

apoocalypse

A devastating explosion of excrement.

Wow, have you seen the apoocalypse in the third floor toilets? Is it the HR department holding another dirty protest?' 'No, it's that new contractor from Wilmslow. The cleaners have put up a new sign in the toilet saying "Please leave these facilities in the condition that you would wish to find them", and he took it literally.'

by cuksocker December 13, 2010

Fetch the puppy

Euphemism for: 'Felch the puppy', or 'Felch the cute young guy'.

Guy 1: Are you taking that puppy upstairs to the sauna? You wanna live the Berlin experience!
Guy 2: No way, I'm gonna totally fetch the puppy in my shower room. He's all mine.

by cuksocker July 22, 2013

permiedom

Permanent employment (being a permie), as viewed by a contractor.

The contract market is so bad that I may be force to abase myself before the altar of permiedom.

by cuksocker November 5, 2010

Buckyballed

An injury inflicted on the gonads as a result of an unsuccessful attempt at rodeo sex. Injury may be inflicted either during or after the undermentioned act was attempted. Usually results in severe bruising of the affected organs and loss of conjugal rights for an extended or permanent period.

I tried to rodeo Sue-Ellen last night but she threw me and I got buckyballed.

Man, my balls are sore. I tried to rodeo Pammy and got buckyballed when she kicked me.

by cuksocker November 8, 2010

Bum and coke

Drug-fuelled Cottaging in a cocktail bar or other upmarket drinking establishment toilet.

Did you come her straight from home tonight?

No, I popped into the Lord Lucan for a quick Bum and Coke.

by cuksocker November 7, 2010

assguru

Experienced but ageing toilet trader

I bumped into Luke last night.

Really, is he still in business? He's old but he's still got the moves. A real assguru!

by cuksocker November 7, 2010