Definitions by cirdellin

Unemployment ecstasy despair 

The conflicting emotions one faces when one discovers that they have been terminated. First is a feeling of euphoria then dread, then mixed emotions that cycle frequently.

"John, you're fired you jackass!"

(John smiles a crooked smile)

"What's wrong with you John?"

"Unemployment ecstasy despair, boss"

Unemployment ecstasy despair by Cirdellin January 5, 2010

Octaphilia 

The perverse desire to emulate fashion, hair and music from the 1980's despite severe social criticisms for doing so.

"Patty what are you doing? The big shoulder pads, the big sometimes blue or green hair? What's up with your boyfriend too with the eyeliner? Don't you see that people are laughing at you?"

"Well my boyfriend still likes Boy George and Wham and I still like Pat Benatar and Dynasty and I think that blue hair is my best color. Get with it Suzie."

"Get with it?!!!! I hated that stuff even then! Your octaphilia is out of control!"

Octaphilia by Cirdellin January 4, 2010

Ping pong ball season 

Late fall, winter and early spring in the upper Midwest. The name derives from the off-white sky, horizon and ground that makes delineating the three virtually impossible. One feels that they are trapped inside of a table tennis ball.

"I can't stand this weather. Everything is coated with the same awful color."

"That's what you get this time of year in Cleveland. What did you expect? It's ping pong ball season."

Ping pong ball season by Cirdellin January 4, 2010

Hair color paradox 

When one is attracted to people with hair colors other than that on one's partner. When ascribed to a large population, it is when people of a particular region or country are attracted to people whose hair color is rarely observed.

"Hans, I am happy that you are enjoying your time in Ireland but many women are growing uncomfortable by your relentless staring. Kelly told me that it is freaking her out."

"I am sorry Patrick but one rarely sees such beautiful red haired women in my native Germany. This is indeed a hair color paradox."

Hair color paradox by Cirdellin December 31, 2009

Passenger assessment

The tendency, especially while waiting for a plane, to scan one's fellow passengers for signs of violent intention. This tends to increase after an airline incident or near incident.

Jake surreptitiously looked up and down the many aisles of chairs as he waited for his plane to arrive at the gate. Passenger assessment is an essential part of flying these days. he rationalized.

Passenger assessment by Cirdellin December 31, 2009

Le guillotine de la porte 

The fear that one may lose a body part due to any kind of door that is perceived to be closing too quickly. The phrase is said to have originated from 18th century survivors of the French Revolution who passed their remaining days in a kind of post traumatic stress disorder and obsessing about sharp quickly closing things.

"Johnny get your hand back into this elevator, the door is about to close!"

"Mom, it is just an elevator door."

"Yeah that's what you said about the bus door this morning."

"Mom I think you have le guillotine de la porte and the stories you hear are just urban legends."

"Just get your hand out of the door."

Le guillotine de la porte by Cirdellin December 31, 2009

Approaching occupational neurosis 

The sense of exponential dread that occurs when one more closely nears one's workplace. If one is driving down a hill to said workplace the effect is sometimes described as Hell like.

(In a carpool on a public service ad) "What's wrong Jake? Your face has gone white."

"Look down there at the bottom of the hill and to the right!"

"OH MY GOD! IT"S THAT PLACE WE WORK!"

(A psychologist enters the ad and states paternally; "This is approaching occupational neurosis. Don't let it happen to you or anyone you care about. Resign or seek professional help immediately!"

Approaching occupational neurosis by Cirdellin December 30, 2009