cirdellin's definitions

Chunkhouse

Any dwelling either temporary (e.g. a tent) or permanent where a significant number of fat people are residing.

"Hey Mark, your wife really put on some weight, huh?"

"I know. If she doesn't start getting rid of it pretty soon she'll have to go to one of those chunkhouses"

"Sounds harsh."

"Well that is what chunkhouses are for."

"Touche!"

by Cirdellin December 18, 2009

Approaching occupational neurosis

The sense of exponential dread that occurs when one more closely nears one's workplace. If one is driving down a hill to said workplace the effect is sometimes described as Hell like.

(In a carpool on a public service ad) "What's wrong Jake? Your face has gone white."

"Look down there at the bottom of the hill and to the right!"

"OH MY GOD! IT"S THAT PLACE WE WORK!"

(A psychologist enters the ad and states paternally; "This is approaching occupational neurosis. Don't let it happen to you or anyone you care about. Resign or seek professional help immediately!"

by Cirdellin December 30, 2009

Internet Ghost

An entity on the Internet that is imaginary. Specifically it is a person who has created a false identity for him or herself. Generally, falsified pictures and life experience are involved. Should the person go on to actually meet those to whom he or she has been lying without taking into account that they will inevitably be caught, the condition is known as Internet ghost denial.

(Pretty girl to whom the liar is talking upon their first meeting) "Hey you aren't 6'3" or a ski instructor I bet."

"Yeah I am."

"You are a liar and an Internet ghost. In fact you are in Internet ghost denial.

by Cirdellin January 8, 2010

Demanding damsel in distress

The attractive woman at work who plays the coquette and victim when it suits her but also demands respect and advancement. Coworkers either hate her or swoon over her. No one is neutral in their opinions of her.

"Can you believe that Stacey charged her supervisor with harassment? He just asked her to do her job."

"Yeah and now she got a promotion on top of it!"

"She's a demanding damsel in distress."

by Cirdellin January 13, 2010

Work zombie

An employee who experiences a loss of consciousness that can go on for hours or days. In this state, he or she will have no memory at all of the work he or she performed. Also known as work autopilot and work robot, these are usually people who feel that they have no future in their own company. It is believed that the "lost" time is spent in internal calculation so as not to allow the brain cells to atrophy.

"Jones, you cretin. What were you thinking? Were you paying any attention at all to your work?"

(In a fog) "Sorry boss. I must have become a work zombie. "

by Cirdellin January 18, 2010

Error smirk

The happy expression on an employee's face when he or she has made a serious mistake at a loathed workplace. To the employee, it signals the possibility that the work place's reputation has been seriously damaged. This only occurs when an employee stays on for the perverse purpose of causing such damage.

"Jones. you moron! What were you thinking? The client thinks we are idiots now thanks to you."

"Really?" Jones responds with an error smirk.

by Cirdellin January 11, 2010

Unemployment ecstasy despair

The conflicting emotions one faces when one discovers that they have been terminated. First is a feeling of euphoria then dread, then mixed emotions that cycle frequently.

"John, you're fired you jackass!"

(John smiles a crooked smile)

"What's wrong with you John?"

"Unemployment ecstasy despair, boss"

by Cirdellin January 5, 2010