Definitions by chris wheelie

plink 

The odd little stalk atop of genuine beret. Also a tuft of stray hair that simply refuses to lie flat. Or a stalk on a piece of fruit you have to pull off prior to consumption (say, on an apple or strawberry).

"Zat is not mon beret, zere is no plink!"
"All set for the job interview, except for this darn plink won't stay down!"
"It's all right, grandad, I've mushed-up all your fruit and de-plinked it".

plink by chris wheelie June 17, 2005

bus station loony 

Person of individual or eccentric demeanour found freqenting every major (and often minor) bus park or station throughout the globe. Living in their own special world, said Bus Station Loony will happily occupy each daylight hour shuffling throughout every corner of their domain. They love to be among people, but are inept at standard social intercourse, therefore will mumble to themselves, sing, hold conversations with inanimate objects and generally put the willies up any average commuter.
Also any member of the long-running British punk band, The Bus station Loonies. The similarities are several thousandfold.

Whilst waiting for the number 84 to Tavistock, I had to occupy my time by trying to avoid the Bus Station Loony at Bretonside Station. The poor soul reeked of urine and kept insisting I came to their gig that night.

bus station loony by chris wheelie April 30, 2005

iss-iss 

An exclamation of delight or bliss, when in a particular comfortable or cosy environment.

(Following a rigid and exhausting day. Showered and slipping between freshly laundered and warm bedclothes) "Iss-Iss!"

iss-iss by chris wheelie April 30, 2005

Ritz 

Apart from crackers, style or wiggers, this word can also be uttered by disappointed or ungrateful persons. It's a simpler way of saying 'big deal', 'so what?', 'Is that all there is?'.

Deek stared with incredulity at the meal set before him. In the dead centre of a plate, the size of a small coffee table, lay one solitary dod of potato salad.
"Ritz", he rumbled.

Ritz by chris wheelie April 30, 2005

Effing and Blinding 

To let forth a torrant of obscenities and give vent to a stream of profanities. Quite simply, have a bloody good swear.

In the kitchen, grandad had stubbed his toe and all round the house, one could hear the old man effing and blinding. The vicar turned quite crimson.

Effing and Blinding by chris wheelie April 29, 2005

Jiggered

An exclamation to use among quaint and polite circles, when really you mean buggered.

"Well, I'll be jiggered!" ejaculated Auntie Gladys, when Gracie won bingo the third time that day.

Jiggered by chris wheelie April 28, 2005

Gratey

In general terms, an uncomfortable place. A dusty, awkward corner. Usually the gap sometimes created between a single bed when moved slightly away from the wall.

"What's up with you? Did you get out of the wrong side of bed this morning?"
"Certainly did. I woke up to find myself halfway down the gratey!"

Gratey by chris wheelie April 28, 2005