"Oh surprise, surprise, Terry has fucking donned 'Frodo's Ring' again just when it's his turn to get the next round in."
"Then, just as about 20 of them came around the corner with baseball bats Terry whipped out Frodo's Ring again - the fucking cunt".
"Then, just as about 20 of them came around the corner with baseball bats Terry whipped out Frodo's Ring again - the fucking cunt".
by chesterpest January 17, 2010

The scam whereby Restaurants/Florists/Chocolatiers cash in on Valentine's Day by trebling the price of their products safe in the knowledge that the male suitor is effectively held to ransom with no other options open to them.
"You may as well wear a feckin mask, this is just a bloody Valentine's Day Massacre" screamed Tom to the restaurant manager whilst his paramour paid a trip to the toilet.
by chesterpest January 22, 2010

Alternative name for iladies breasts. Also known as ladylumps, mezulas, tatties, puppies, waps, tonkas, bullwinkles noses, tits, paps, threps, jugs, melons, funbags, etc
Gary had never imagined that a woman could cultivate such an award winning set of 'babies breakfasts', pity it was his sister.
by chesterpest January 17, 2010

A lumpy deformed turd making its appearance after a gruelling period of constipation and often consisting of several layered and compacted hard mini turds.
'That laxative certainly did the trick' exclaimed paul, 'but I appear to have given birth to an enormous frankenstool in the process'!
by chesterpest January 17, 2010

1. A technique used by defenders to put attacking players in an offside position, by moving quickly away from their own goal to leave attackers offside.
2. A lady's 'backdoor' or 'back passage'.
2. A lady's 'backdoor' or 'back passage'.
That bag of chips I bought her was a good investment last night, not only did I get my end away, but I also managed to slip one in her 'offside trap'.
by chesterpest January 17, 2010

a turd so long and unbroken when dispatched that it refuses to leave the bowl, even after several flushes.
'Dad!' cried little Jimmy, 'We've got a cumberlodge'. 'Don't worry son, i'll get my walking stick and we'll break it up a bit first'.
by chesterpest January 17, 2010

Fuck me, i've never seen anything like it - she had a twat like Hagrid's Beard. I had to get the hedgetrimmers out, her bedroom floor looked like a fucking Barbers Shop after a busy day!
by chesterpest January 17, 2010
