A metallic replacement glans for a penis that has rotted away due to such STDs as clamhydaherpacrabs(sic.) and gonosyphillaids.
Jake: "I was thinking the other day: all my best friends are metal heads,"
Storm: "Well you do look a lot like Ian McKellen,"
Jake: "Why should that have anything to do with it?"
Storm: "This is why me and you never get down and dirty Jake - you're such a dumbass,"
Storm: "Well you do look a lot like Ian McKellen,"
Jake: "Why should that have anything to do with it?"
Storm: "This is why me and you never get down and dirty Jake - you're such a dumbass,"
by cheddarfloor April 21, 2005
Ooh baby, I'm about to squirt. Hang on, here it comes, wait, oh that's good..wait, wait for la leche baby...here it is...OH YEEAH! Wooh. You like the leche don't you baby!...Got la leche?? You do baby!! Haha! Yeah all in your mouth. Wow you're so good to me. Oh yeah that was good...oh yeah...can I try a bit?
by cheddarfloor April 20, 2005
A fart that is cowardly overdubbed with a loud staged cough to avoid embarrassment in polite company.
Charlie: Yes ma'am. *CART!*
The Queen: Oh you poor boy, you should really get something for that chest.
Charlie: Yes ma'am.
The Queen: Oh you poor boy, you should really get something for that chest.
Charlie: Yes ma'am.
by cheddarfloor April 21, 2005
The black, sweet-tasting, ejaculatory elixir which many African cultures believe a man emits if he correctly enunciates the arcane word 'Dukdukhjjuutybuqu' upon orgasm.
"I'm afraid your wife will die within 5 hours."
"Nah it's alright doc, i'll just pump her full of cock diesel and she'll be right as rain."
"Nah it's alright doc, i'll just pump her full of cock diesel and she'll be right as rain."
by cheddarfloor April 21, 2005
The post-coitus piss which takes it's time coming out and then when it does goes everywhere, all over your feet and up the walls, but not down the toilet.
"You ready for some more sugar?"
"There in a sec honey, just taking a piss...(10 seconds later)...wah!"
"There in a sec honey, just taking a piss...(10 seconds later)...wah!"
by cheddarfloor April 22, 2005
Sex shop owner: "We got whips, hand-cuffs, feathers, chains, dildos, butt-plugs, cock-rings, joy-buzzers, batons, tasers, axes, machetes, M-16s, SAMs, anthrax-"
Pansexual: "Got any pans?"
Pansexual: "Got any pans?"
by cheddarfloor April 21, 2005
A man who can only perform sexually with a tight rubber band triple-wrapped round his cock to restrict blood-flow, whilst fantasising that he's a smurf shagging smurfette.
Rubberband man theme tune:
Gonna find me a rubber band,
Gonna wrap it round my chonson,
Gonna find that lil' smurfette,
And may her suck my big blue cock tonight!
Oh yeah! That's what I'm gonna do,
Cos I'm a crazy smurf with a big blue cock tonight!
That's what I am!
I'm not some weirdo with a rubber band wrapped round my cock, no!
I'm a friggin smurf!
Why won't anyone believe me?
Gonna find me a rubber band,
Gonna wrap it round my chonson,
Gonna find that lil' smurfette,
And may her suck my big blue cock tonight!
Oh yeah! That's what I'm gonna do,
Cos I'm a crazy smurf with a big blue cock tonight!
That's what I am!
I'm not some weirdo with a rubber band wrapped round my cock, no!
I'm a friggin smurf!
Why won't anyone believe me?
by cheddarfloor April 23, 2005