cheddarfloor's definitions

rubberband man

A man who can only perform sexually with a tight rubber band triple-wrapped round his cock to restrict blood-flow, whilst fantasising that he's a smurf shagging smurfette.

Rubberband man theme tune:

Gonna find me a rubber band,
Gonna wrap it round my chonson,
Gonna find that lil' smurfette,
And may her suck my big blue cock tonight!

Oh yeah! That's what I'm gonna do,
Cos I'm a crazy smurf with a big blue cock tonight!
That's what I am!
I'm not some weirdo with a rubber band wrapped round my cock, no!
I'm a friggin smurf!
Why won't anyone believe me?

by cheddarfloor April 30, 2006

suck a fuck

The act, which most girls have secretly honed for as yet unknown reasons, of completely collapsing with a single word a seriously hot moment, which would ordinarily lead to fucking.

Joel (kissing Emily's neck): So what now honeybuns?
Emily: Pizza?
Joel: Shit Emily, you really sucked the fuck out of that situation!

by cheddarfloor April 23, 2005

pisswah

The post-coitus piss which takes it's time coming out and then when it does goes everywhere, all over your feet and up the walls, but not down the toilet.

"You ready for some more sugar?"
"There in a sec honey, just taking a piss...(10 seconds later)...wah!"

by cheddarfloor April 22, 2005

take heat

To submit oneself to a ravaging by a randy canine in the hope that it will not then hump the leg of someone coming to visit you.

Hurry Rover! The Priest's popping round at half past!

by cheddarfloor April 21, 2005

manjam

A homemade high-protein preserve traditionally distilled in two spherical receptacles. Best served in a series of short sharp jets over a pair of perfectly proportioned buns or baps.

Girl: "Eric, my fingers keep brushing against something hard in the popcorn. Is anything in there?"
Eric, popcorn bucket on his lap: "No, I don't think so. Here grab another handful."
---
five minutes later
---
Girl:"Eric, why does the popcorn suddenly taste like manjam?"
Eric:"Er..don't know. Probably just...er...no I really haven't a clue. Couldn't give ya one good reason, i'm afraid. Nope. Er, hang on, maybe...ah no...nope...I can't think why at all. Sorry. No idea."

by cheddarfloor April 21, 2005

queef

When, after an extended episode of concentrated reasoning, a lady realises that she has discovered a hitherto overlooked flaw in Einstein's Relativity Theory but coherent speech is made an impossibility due to an intense level of sexual excitement, she must resort to an audible vaginal emission to convey her profundities to any fortunate peer within earshot. The pungency of the resultant queef can be overpowering and is directly proportional to the originality and validity of the lady's deductions.

Man, mid-coitus: "Phwoah?! What was that?"
Lady, ditto: "That, Archibald, was a post-structuralist analysis of the novel A Room With a View by E.M. Forster."
Man: "It friggin' stinks!"
Lady: "Exactly!"

by cheddarfloor April 21, 2005

Lets beat

A call to arms elicited by the head of a group of mutual masturbators as a signal that the time has come for some serious meat-beating or clit-flicking.

Gentlemen, let's beat!

by cheddarfloor April 21, 2005