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carl willis's definitions

supersize

V. To make larger, usu. in the context of a takeout order placed with a dining establishment.

Adj. Larger than expected, necessary, or appropriate.
Fast food clerk: What can I get you today?

John Q. Lardass: I'll have a triple bacon cheeseburger, supersize that please...two Biggie Fries, supersize of course, a two-liter Coke...a supersize chocolate shake....




Southwest Airlines clerk: What can I do for you?

John Q. Lardass: I need a ticket to Dallas.

Clerk: That will be one supersize ticket to Dallas, $850 please.

John Q. Lardass: What!!?

Clerk: Sir, customers must pay for all the seats they occupy. I see you are still gorging on your supersize fries, so don't try that "glandular disorder" crap with us today. Take some goddamn personal responsibility.
by Carl Willis August 4, 2004
mugGet the supersizemug.

nukular

adj.

1. Pertaining to the atomic nukulus

2. Pertaining to a weapon typically made out of "yew-ray-nee-um," what blows up real good, an' done half near kill the whole goddamn planet!
1) Grammaw: Jimmy-Ray, what did they learn you in skiewl today?
Jimmy: We did science, Grammaw. We done learned all about the Creation, and even sumthin' about this little bitty thing called the atomic nukulus.

2) "Saddam Hussein recently sought large quantities of uranium from Africa, so he could cook him up a mess of nukular bombs for to blow up the whole Godly nation of Texas." -Dubya
by Carl Willis February 10, 2004
mugGet the nukularmug.

physics package

n. (Military jargon) The essential workings of a nuclear or thermonuclear weapon. The "physics package" is designed by scientists at a weapons lab and comprises all the nuclear reactants used in the device, such as plutonium, lithium deuteride, etc. The military then decides how to deploy it (missiles, bombs, backpacks).
Military weaponeer: "The B-66A is an advanced, bunker-busting, anti-raghead weapon that is based on the Los Alamos E-1337 physics package. The guidance system uses a special neural network code to identify and deliver the device against brown-skinned persons of the Muslim persuasion..."

Dick Cheney: (Evil grin) "We're pleased with your rapid progress. The so-called "Ramadan" starts next month!"
by Carl Willis October 17, 2004
mugGet the physics packagemug.

skateboard

n. A four-wheeled board used for personal transportation, and as an instrument for denting railings, grinding stairways, chipping benches, and committing other acts of vandalism against public property.
"You get that skateboard off of my property, you filthy little pot-smoking delinquent! Or I'll call your mama up so she can give you a spanking!"
by Carl Willis October 12, 2004
mugGet the skateboardmug.

Hello Kitty

n. A Japanese psychological mass-casualty weapon, developed by scientists at the Sanrio Corporation; unleashed upon humanity in 1974 with the goal of subjugating the planet under Japanese imperial rule.

Nobody knows how Hello Kitty works, but there is no denying the tragic consequences of its use: millions of fad-crazed zombies (the "Wapanese") now trod the earth, their rational faculties obliterated by an overpowering instinct to embrace Japanese pop culture. Furthermore, they sap the economies of the Western nations by purchasing boundless amounts of worthless Japanese kitsch. With proof of the Kitty's efficacy, the Japanese have subsequently deployed even more potent mind-control weapons, including Pokemon and Dragonball Z.

Doctors warn that even low-level exposure to Hello Kitty may cause a perfectly sound mind to crack. Anyone who accidently catches sight of this Kitty (an anthropomorphic cat having a hairbow and no mouth) is advised to seek psychotherapy at once and to report the sighting to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security for immediate liquidation.
"The people of the United States have already formed their opinions regarding Hello Kitty, and well understand the implication to the very life and safety of our nation."
by Carl Willis January 12, 2005
mugGet the Hello Kittymug.

neckitude

n. The propensity to exhibit attitudes, behaviors, or mannerisms associated with the common redneck(Ignoramus americanus).
"On the drive over here, a trucker on the Interstate hurled a beer can full of urine out his window--talk about sheer neckitude!"

"Crikey, this breeding-age male specimen is just bristling with neckitude kids! You can tell just by looking that he was born and raised in West Texas, attends a Creationist Baptist church, and voted for Dubya. The plumage is another feature we should not ignore: note the mullet and the Confederate battle flag on his trucker hat. Awwww, I think th' bloody brute's got a shotgun! Let's get away before he tries to defend his territory."
by Carl Willis December 12, 2005
mugGet the neckitudemug.

iced out

adj. Used in reference to a decorative or jewelry item containing a prolific quantity of diamonds ("ice"). Connotes an ostentatious display of material wealth accumulated through slangin' crack, pimpin' 'hoes, hustlin' at the swap meet, MCing, and not paying chile support to tha baby's mamas!
Montrel was all frontin' his shit for the ladies like he's Mr. President or something, 'til I step in sportin' an iced out 24-karat Rolex on BOFE arms! Dayyumn, nigga, guess who got the booty now.
by Carl Willis August 4, 2004
mugGet the iced outmug.

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