brett burkhardt's definitions
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the HSN Nutmug. I was horrified when I saw that aunt Mary spent over a thousand dollars a month on crap from QVC but when she told me she returned all but $20 worth of stuff I knew she was a real QVC crack head.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the QVC Crack Headmug. Brian thought he’d make a great porn star but his greasy hair, two inch dick, hairy back, acne scared face, Oompa Loompa orange tan, flat ass, three minute staying power, and his problem with anal leakage made him a real Porno No-No.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Porno No-Nomug. To spend money to "improve" or "pimp out" a worthless item such as a crappy car, dump of a house, or other such item. Usually done by spending more to upgrade an item than was paid for it but still not actually increasing the value of the item with these upgrades.
After Sam spent $1900 to pimp out his $300 rusted out, beat up, 1982 Celebrity all he got for his trouble was a gilded turd and credit card debt.
"My sister is a moron."
"Why's that?"
"She bought a $30,000 burnt out house in the worst part of town and spent $100,000 making it livable. Now she can't sell it because everyone who could afford it doesn't want to live anywhere near that part of town."
"Sounds like she's got a gilded turd on her hands."
"My sister is a moron."
"Why's that?"
"She bought a $30,000 burnt out house in the worst part of town and spent $100,000 making it livable. Now she can't sell it because everyone who could afford it doesn't want to live anywhere near that part of town."
"Sounds like she's got a gilded turd on her hands."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
Get the Gilded Turdmug. The act of altering your profile information, writing things on the walls of others, etc. to illicit feelings of sympathy from others or to attract attention.
Jolene wrote that she was feeling down on her ex’s wall so that he’d message her again. She knew it was Facebook fraud but she didn't care.
We ignore everything that he writes on Facebook. It's mostly just Facebook fraud to get us to invite him out to the bar more often.
We ignore everything that he writes on Facebook. It's mostly just Facebook fraud to get us to invite him out to the bar more often.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Facebook Fraudmug. A person who has a thousand coupons that they drag everywhere with them and gets pissed if the one they try and use can’t be accepted.
What should have been a 3 minute stop to get a pack of smokes turned into a 20 minute ordeal because the Coupon Cunt in front of me refused to accept the fact that the store will not accept a coupon for cat food that expired in 2003.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Coupon Cuntmug. Someone who’s significant other has gone on a serious health kick and spends all their time working out.
Rich was happy that his wife was interested in getting the baby weight off but the fact that she spent 20 hours a week at the gym left him a gym widower.
Sara loved buff men but hated being a gym widow all the time.
Sara loved buff men but hated being a gym widow all the time.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Get the Gym Widowmug.