brett burkhardt's definitions

Fraudtarded

Committing fraud in such a way as the police will find them in five minutes such as paying your rent, phone bill, or utilities using a stolen credit card.

Paris was shocked that the police figured out she’d been using stolen credit card numbers. Of course, she was fraudtarded because she used those stolen cards to pay her rent and phone bill with them.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Party Pouter

Someone who spends an entire party bitch about who isn’t there or how late some people are in showing up or how early they are in leaving. This is usually all they talk about which pisses off everyone at the party.

“Don’t invite her, she’s a party pouter and she’ll spend the entire night bitching that her friends aren’t there.”

When Ricardo starting turning into a party pouter the host told him to either leave or shut up.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Booty Buddy

Not exactly a fuck buddy but someone who you have friendly conversation with just before and after sex during regular booty calls.

“Nick is a great Booty Buddy but I just don’t think we’d get along if we spent time together not having sex.”

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Nutta Butta

The lube used to jerk off with.

Lacy was going to kill her boyfriend. He’d been dipping into her expensive imported face cream to use as nutta butta again.

Adam couldn’t decide which nutta butta he wanted to use. The Astroglide, coconut oil, or the hand lotion...decisions, decisions.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Memo Discrepancy

When someone makes statements about their accounts that are complete lies but, because you can’t say that in the notes or to the customer, you have to call it a memo discrepancy.

“This bitch says called the other day and that she’d gotten some rep to wave her fees but she never called in once. Can I say she’s a lying whore in the memos?”
“No, just say it’s a memo discrepancy and then specify what didn’t match up. Otherwise you’ll get your ass in trouble.”

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Porno No-No

Someone who’s just too ugly and unappealing even for cheap, skanky, depressing porn.

Brian thought he’d make a great porn star but his greasy hair, two inch dick, hairy back, acne scared face, Oompa Loompa orange tan, flat ass, three minute staying power, and his problem with anal leakage made him a real Porno No-No.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

HSN Nut

A sad, pathetic, person who spends hours each day shopping at HSN and constantly calling in.

Mrs Ashforth was a real HSN Nut. Each day about 20 packages would arrive from them.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008