brett burkhardt's definitions

Party Pouter

Someone who spends an entire party bitch about who isn’t there or how late some people are in showing up or how early they are in leaving. This is usually all they talk about which pisses off everyone at the party.

“Don’t invite her, she’s a party pouter and she’ll spend the entire night bitching that her friends aren’t there.”

When Ricardo starting turning into a party pouter the host told him to either leave or shut up.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Fraudtarded

Committing fraud in such a way as the police will find them in five minutes such as paying your rent, phone bill, or utilities using a stolen credit card.

Paris was shocked that the police figured out she’d been using stolen credit card numbers. Of course, she was fraudtarded because she used those stolen cards to pay her rent and phone bill with them.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Knocking at the back door

When someone with a hard on grinds it against your ass while dancing, cuddling, spooning, or just standing behind you.

Tanya loved spooning but hated when her boyfriend used it as an excuse to go knocking at the back door all night.

“That guy at the bar was cute but he was knocking at the back door all night on the dance floor and that’s why I didn’t go home with him. Why bring someone home if you know he’s just packing half a roll of Life Savers in his pants?”

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Post Secret Poser

Someone who sends in post cards to Post Secret about things that everyone already knows or who brags about their secret being picked.

Josh was a Post Secret poser and would send in post cards every week about the time he pissed his pants at prom. Like no one would figure that one out.

"Tony, don’t be such a Post Secret poser. If you’re going to send in secrets shut up about it."

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

whorephan

One who has been left behind at the bar by a friend and/or ride so that they can hook up. Also known as being whorephaned.

The bartender knew that the chunky girl with the hot friend was going to be a whorephan by midnight the second they walked up to the bar.

by Brett Burkhardt March 9, 2008

HSN Nut

A sad, pathetic, person who spends hours each day shopping at HSN and constantly calling in.

Mrs Ashforth was a real HSN Nut. Each day about 20 packages would arrive from them.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008

Porno No-No

Someone who’s just too ugly and unappealing even for cheap, skanky, depressing porn.

Brian thought he’d make a great porn star but his greasy hair, two inch dick, hairy back, acne scared face, Oompa Loompa orange tan, flat ass, three minute staying power, and his problem with anal leakage made him a real Porno No-No.

by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008