Definitions by brett burkhardt
Drag Dowager
An older rich woman who dresses and does her hair and makeup in such a way that she resembles a drag queen.
Drag Dowager by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Name Nabber
A customer who demands on getting your name even though you’ve already told them and you’re wearing a name tag because they want to bitch about shit that never happened or things that they imagined.
Mr. Gonzalez was a major name nabber. He’ll write that shit down and then bitch about you to a manager 3 weeks later for some made up bullshit.
Sheila knew the customer was a name nabber so she told him that her name was Sharon.
Sheila knew the customer was a name nabber so she told him that her name was Sharon.
Name Nabber by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Fashion Fool
We all laughed when she told us that she spent $300 on that blue zebra print dress. For the same price, she could have had 35 dresses exactly like it from the bargain bin at K-Mart.
We knew we hit the goldmine when we opened this trendy boutique. Fashion fools will pay a fortune to get a “one of a kind” dress no matter how ugly it is.
We knew we hit the goldmine when we opened this trendy boutique. Fashion fools will pay a fortune to get a “one of a kind” dress no matter how ugly it is.
Fashion Fool by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Leftover Lunge
Jack made a serious leftover lunge when he asked his roommate’s ex out just two days after they broke up.
We were taking bets about when Betty was going to ask him out. She’s notorious for making one really pathetic leftover lunge after another within hours of someone's breakup.
We were taking bets about when Betty was going to ask him out. She’s notorious for making one really pathetic leftover lunge after another within hours of someone's breakup.
Leftover Lunge by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Rich Rage
When a rich person, or a person who just thinks they are rich, bitches about things and expects special favors because they think they’re crazy rich.
You know someone’s going into a rich rage when they start talking about how much money they have in the bank.
“I demand to talk to your supervisor! How dare you put a hold on my credit card for my payment being a little late! Do you know how much of your company’s stock I own? I have over $3 million in your bank!”
“One moment sir....Hey, I’ve got a douche on the line who’s worked himself up into a major rich rage...yeah, he’s pissed that his card won’t work but his account is over 38 days delinquent and his checking is negative and his savings is empty....yeah...he’s a real tool.”
“I demand to talk to your supervisor! How dare you put a hold on my credit card for my payment being a little late! Do you know how much of your company’s stock I own? I have over $3 million in your bank!”
“One moment sir....Hey, I’ve got a douche on the line who’s worked himself up into a major rich rage...yeah, he’s pissed that his card won’t work but his account is over 38 days delinquent and his checking is negative and his savings is empty....yeah...he’s a real tool.”
Rich Rage by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Coastal Crap
When people from the coasts have an attitude about people who live in the Midwest and the Midwest in general.
If you’re going to come to town with a big bag of coastal crap then why the fuck did you decide to go to college in Iowa?
Once again, Mandy has to pull some coastal crap when she went on a rant about just how “quaint” the sushi places in Chicago are.
Once again, Mandy has to pull some coastal crap when she went on a rant about just how “quaint” the sushi places in Chicago are.
Coastal Crap by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
Uppity Urbanite
Someone who thinks that living downtown is the only way to go and that everyone else is an uncultured rube.
“I can’t visit her, she lives in the suburbs for God’s sake! You might as well ask me to go to the deep south or the dark heart of Africa or some other place with no running water or appletinis!” Shrieked the uppity urbanite.
“Oh...my...God....is that a cow?! Hold me, I’m scared, it’s going to be just like Deliverance”
“Shut the fuck up, Catherine. If you’re going to pull this uppity urbanite shit with me we will end this road trip right now.”
“Oh...my...God....is that a cow?! Hold me, I’m scared, it’s going to be just like Deliverance”
“Shut the fuck up, Catherine. If you’re going to pull this uppity urbanite shit with me we will end this road trip right now.”
Uppity Urbanite by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008