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brett burkhardt's definitions

Declaw

To say something that will shut someone up who’s being catty.
“If that receptionist says one damn thing about my hair, I will declaw her ass so fast.”

"If she starts getting catty, just say something about her husband leaving her for another woman. That'll declaw her in a second."
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Declawmug.

Coastal Crap

When people from the coasts have an attitude about people who live in the Midwest and the Midwest in general.
If you’re going to come to town with a big bag of coastal crap then why the fuck did you decide to go to college in Iowa?

Once again, Mandy has to pull some coastal crap when she went on a rant about just how “quaint” the sushi places in Chicago are.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Coastal Crapmug.

Coupon Cunt

A person who has a thousand coupons that they drag everywhere with them and gets pissed if the one they try and use can’t be accepted.
What should have been a 3 minute stop to get a pack of smokes turned into a 20 minute ordeal because the Coupon Cunt in front of me refused to accept the fact that the store will not accept a coupon for cat food that expired in 2003.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Coupon Cuntmug.

Gym Widow

Someone who’s significant other has gone on a serious health kick and spends all their time working out.
Rich was happy that his wife was interested in getting the baby weight off but the fact that she spent 20 hours a week at the gym left him a gym widower.

Sara loved buff men but hated being a gym widow all the time.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Gym Widowmug.

Bargain Bin Bandit

Someone who gets as much of their clothing, furnishings, books, cds, dvds, etc. from sale racks and bargain bins
Sara the Bargain Bin Bandit somehow managed to look like amazing even though her entire ensemble cost just $30.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Bargain Bin Banditmug.

Nutta Butta

Lacy was going to kill her boyfriend. He’d been dipping into her expensive imported face cream to use as nutta butta again.

Adam couldn’t decide which nutta butta he wanted to use. The Astroglide, coconut oil, or the hand lotion...decisions, decisions.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Nutta Buttamug.

Politipoon

When you feign interest in a politician, political group, event, fundraiser, or offer aid to any of these groups or at these events just to try and get some ass.
Sean knows that he can get some great politipoon if he faked interest in the AIDS walk.

Mary was going to get her some politipoon. First she was going to volunteer at the Obama office, then she was going to stop by the Clinton office and, tomorrow, she was going to have a nice long talk with that hot guy who works the phones at the McCain office.
by Brett Burkhardt April 27, 2008
mugGet the Politipoonmug.

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