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benny b from the bronx's definitions

roadside olympics

Jose Contreras: Thank God I passed that shit, I hardly even remember taking it.
Bruce Lee: Roadside olympics baby.
by benny b from the bronx August 21, 2007
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bayonette the wounded

v. gamely drinking the half-finished beers the morning after a party
Bruce Lee: Why are you drinking that warm ass beer from yesterday??
Jose Contreras: Someone has to bayonette the wounded
by benny b from the bronx May 17, 2006
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brontosaurus brawler

a short or avg. height girl who is extremely aggressive and in most cases quite athletic and strong. always a bitch and sometimes a butch.
an aggressive girl who is flimsy won't do, she has to be physically thick like a tree trunk in that she will always bark a tough game and in many cases bite a vicious game as well.
Bruce Lee: aiyo homey, why didnt you stand up to that bitch?
Jose Contreras: u must be jonin! she's a fuckin' brontosaurus brawler, she could take on the Bears O-line for chrissake.
by benny b from the bronx October 21, 2004
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wired-to-the-tits

An adjective indicating an extreme degree of inebriation beyond safety, reason and/or consciousness.
Jose Contreras: Daamn, I was wired-to-the-tits drunk last night.
Bruce Lee: No shit, you were hitting on motherfucking livestock by the end of the night.
by benny b from the bronx August 26, 2007
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Ignatius Reilly

The central character of John Kennedy Toole's pulitzer prize winning novel A Confederacy of Dunces.
In his 30s, Ignatius still lives with his innocent, old, alcoholic of a mother. Despite his immense education and former profession as a university professor, our protagonist had no patience for his students' inferior minds.
He could be described as an oafish genius prone to fantastic levels of delusion. His epic viewpoint on even the most trivial of things makes it difficult to sustain a steady job. Ignatius has a particular interest in his disdain for pop culture, and modernity in general. In fact, Reilly goes to such great lengths to revel in this disdain that he will, for example, attend the movie theater just to fiercely ridicule the lesser films.
Easily rivals Patrick Bateman as the most unintentionally humorous fictional character of all time.
Bruce Lee: Who is more unintentionally funny, the infamous Patrick Bateman or the immortal Ignatius Reilly?
Jose Contreras: They're both gut wrenchingly hilarious. Ignatius is loveable despite his ridiculousness, Bateman is despicable but awesome from a birds eye view. Both are pretty far removed from reality in one way or another, but Ignatius is a far more interesting character though American Psycho's satire is more pointed and effective.
Bruce Lee: Would you shut the fuck up?
by benny b from the bronx August 20, 2007
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alcoheimers

n. the inability to remember what happened while drinking the night before
Bruce Lee: Man, I can't remember shit from that night
Jose Contreras: Early case of alcoheimers
by benny b from the bronx May 17, 2006
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fugly bus

the mysterious bus that whisks away all the ugly people from the bar and replaces them with their beautiful cousins; usually arrives after your tenth drink.
Jose Contreras: Wow, where did all these aesthetically gifted women come from?
Bruce Lee: I assume the fugly bus came by a few drinks ago.
Jose Contreras: Shit... well, fuck it.
by benny b from the bronx August 21, 2007
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