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Definitions by benny b from the bronx

A lesser being worthy of little to no human rights.
The personification of severely pathetic; an amateur of the utmost degree.
Though the words' origins are rooted in economic status, the current economic correlation to an individual's peasantry is indirect. Granted, 21st Century peasants do frequently carry the inadmirable traits of medieval peasants including offensive hygiene, alarming stupidity, and physical characteristics befitting of ridicule. Unfortunately, these essentially nonessential creatures can be found in most walks of life.
Jesus Quintana: These fucking peasants think they can come to our territory and run shit? I am going to fuck each and every one of them in the ass.
Jose Contreras: Jesus...
Quintana: 'Ju said it man, nobody fucks with the Jesus. (storms out)
Bruce Lee: (walks up) Where the fuck did he come from?
Peasant by benny b from the bronx August 27, 2007

wired-to-the-tits 

An adjective indicating an extreme degree of inebriation beyond safety, reason and/or consciousness.
Jose Contreras: Daamn, I was wired-to-the-tits drunk last night.
Bruce Lee: No shit, you were hitting on motherfucking livestock by the end of the night.

cowboy up 

Bruce Lee: Cowboy up motherfucker!
Jose Contreras: I'm halfway to Heavington, but get me a Jim
Bruce Lee: No, get it yourself

pocket forensics 

determining where you drank last night by examining your collection of matchbooks and credit card receipts; also known as following the caper trail.
Bruce Lee: What in God's name are you looking for?
Jose Contreras: Just doing some pocket forensics. I was allegedly quite boisterous last night but I don't recall being in public.

fugly bus 

the mysterious bus that whisks away all the ugly people from the bar and replaces them with their beautiful cousins; usually arrives after your tenth drink.
Jose Contreras: Wow, where did all these aesthetically gifted women come from?
Bruce Lee: I assume the fugly bus came by a few drinks ago.
Jose Contreras: Shit... well, fuck it.

hair of the bear that mauled you 

Vodka drank the next day to defeat a vodka hangover; an update of hair of the dog that bit you. Other drinks could be substituted for vodka as long as you come up with a new animal. For example, hair of the demon that violated you could be tequila.
Bruce Lee: What's in that?
Jose Contreras: Some more vodka. I'm struggling from last night, hopefully this shit will ease me up.
Bruce Lee: Ahh, hair of the bear that mauled you, huh?

kamikaze eyes 

The look a drunk gets when he spies someone he's always hated but was always too sober to fight.
Jose Contreras: Shit man, are you sporting kamikaze eyes for that asshole?
Bruce Lee: Not applicable. I kicked the living shit out of him sober already.