benchmax345's definitions

Zoo Driftin'

A fictional event used in a lie to avoid another potential event.

Chick1: Do you want to study hardcore tonight?
Chick2: Awwww, I can't. I'm going Zoo Driftin'. Yeah...the crew and I are going drifting at the zoo.

by BenchMax345 February 29, 2008

mid-life crisis

Mid-life crisis (MLC, not to be confused with TLC) is a very common among people ranging from 30-50 years of age. In every aspects of our lives, mid-life crisis finds its voice through every passage of our lives. People with mid-life crisis falsely believed that they are young (from ages 15-25). They drive a Corvette, Mustang, and other sports vehicles. On a daily basis, people with mid-life crisis can be discovered/hunt down on regular college campuses. People with mid-life crisis can be best described by using the term-"middy-life." Middy-lifes have an untrammeled desire to achieve a feeling of youthfulness and horniness. The effects of mid-life crisis can lead an individual to evolve into a pedo bear.

If you are 30 years old or older, then you are a mid-life crisis.

by benchmax345 May 10, 2008

Ben Assfleck

Synonym: Ben Affleck

Ben Affleck acted like Ben Assfleck in Daredevil lawl.

by BenchMax345 February 29, 2008

Fake Bacon

This word can be use to describe any person who fake noticeable "tanish" skin. Although their friends may say that they look "naturally" tan, it's a lie. It is clearly noticeable. Let's not lie to ourself here. What is natural is the skin color that you were born with. In conclusion, if you think you need a tan, then the truth is that you put yourself below every normal human being. On the plus side, you Fake Bacon provide society with laughter and entertainment with your fake tan look. Congrats.

Chick (came to a party sizzling): Sup gangsta! Do you like my new tan?
Random Person: Dude, you're a fake bacon! lol
Chick: (Leave the party and cry.)

by BenchMax345 February 15, 2008

w^5

w^5 is read as w to the fifth. w^5 is translated to "which was what we wanted."

David: We got the answer to be 56 cm cube. Now, I'm going to check the answer...and it is 56 cm cube... w^5 BOOYAH!

by BenchMax345 February 8, 2009

OHLAP

Oklahoma Higher Learner Access Program (abbrev. OHLAP) is an Oklahoma's Promise scholarship granted for low income parents. Parents with an income of less than $50,000 a year and high school student(s) who worked their ass off earned it. There are specific high school courses that must be taken in order for OHLAP to be rewarded. OHLAP is one of the fastest growing scholarships in Oklahoma. OHLAP pays full tuition towards your college degree. This is a very godly/Chuck Norris scholarship that people take for granted. To date, over 30,000 students enrolled for OHLAP since its inception (source: my high school counselor). The higher your parent’s income, the better your ACT scores have to be in order to achieve…OHLAP (ACT score of a 30 right here BOOYAH! Flawlessly pwned). In order for the effects of this scholarship to remain beneficial, you must maintain a grade point average of an A> (3.60>.) and "promise" to stay away from trouble (i.e. drugs, alcohol, your mom). This scholarship can only be negated by successfully acquiring your bachelor degree or simply "student of failures." On the negative side of the spectrum, if you procrastinated your ass off and haven't procure your bachelor degree within the five years period, then OHLAP's powerful effects will eventually diminish; hence, your balls will be tragically suppress in a hectic manner (which in turn leads to death of purple balls). Absurdly, OHLAP has some dark secrets to deny its existence by your side (which will, in terms, give you a deadly purple nurple). For more history on OHLAP, you must google it. I'm only here to provide this information b/c I have too much time in my hands. Yes, I know; I'm very immature, but I'm hope you're smart enough to tie your own shoes and determine which information is false (i.e. your balls and breast being mutilated).

Vy and I got OHLAP b/c we pwned every AP courses. And mainly, b/c I can bench press 345lbs in high school and pwned the AP Calculus exam with a five. OHLAP is pleased. HOOAH!

by benchmax345 August 25, 2008

NATO

Need Alcohol To Operate

Dude1: Dude, she won't have sex with me.
Powerful Kid: That's because she NATO on everyone.
Dude1: WTF? I've taken U.S. History already.
Powerful Kid: You cock fag! You need to fill er' up with alcohol before you can "operate" on her.
Dude1: Oh...

by BenchMax345 March 29, 2008