Definitions by You rReal Name
Foot me downs
Little Juliet was always walking with a slight limp, because her sister Emma’s foot me downs had lost a heel on the right side, forcing her to walk in a large circle to the right.
Foot me downs by You rReal Name September 8, 2020
Bobotomy
The first in a planned series of personalized brain surgeries which remove all traces of the common character traits of all the Bobs you ever knew. The steadfastness and resolve of the “Robert”, and the good looks and endearments of “Rob” in him are left alone, but all the fun-loving eccentricities and the “no pun left behind” attitude simply disappear on the cutting room floor. If the clinic is proven to successfully restructure Bob, the Joebotomy will arrive in time for the election. Any old Joe you choose can be transformed with a few deft cuts to become Barack or Bill-like at the molecular level. The Flobotomy follows and offers back a serious insurance agent where once only a floozy lived.
Bob had tried all of the run of the mill brain surgeries to make himself more docile, less irritating...but when the Bobotomy was introduced in ‘19 he was first in line for it and he was able to live a benign yet fruitful life. Never again would the world be subjected to bad puns and childish practical jokes.
Bobotomy by You rReal Name August 19, 2020
per-petuity
Bob loved taking Coco and her friend Scheibe to Winston's Fine Dining, because of BOTH the great antivegan food, AND the fact the per-petuity was set at just 10%, or $10 minimum per animal. He could afford that.
per-petuity by You rReal Name August 18, 2020
Mount Rushmost
The tourist attraction voted most likely to benefit from a name change by having the current U.S. President carved into it each 4 years, and if re-elected for a second term.... the Vice President is carved.
In a daring move, Joe Biden today decreed that, if elected, he would sign into effect a bill re-naming it Mount Rushmost, and ensuring that EVERY president, past and present, is carved into the old Rushmore facade at a size befitting the good works performed. Republicans, in a daring political response, DEMANDED the new policy BE made retroactive.
Mount Rushmost by You rReal Name August 18, 2020
Alter-nate
The act of beginning with a true fact and then, through sleight of mouth, transforming and converting it to BECOME an alternate fact. aka The "Con-Way" or "Conwafying"
Bob's voice was usually heard as truthful, but, if required, he could alter-nate with the best politicians and lawyers. Before you knew it, he had alter-nated up a brand new story for your consideration.
Alter-nate by You rReal Name August 16, 2020
Sleight-of-mouth
The art of oral distraction, the verbal skills needed to "Alter-nate" truth into pure fiction. aka "The Con-way" or "Conwayfying", aka "the long gone con", aka "the blonde-con"
Kellyanne truly masters the time honoured sleight-of-mouth necessary to magically mould fact into fiction, and shall inherit the earth, because thou shalt have no falsettos before her.
Sleight-of-mouth by You rReal Name August 16, 2020
Conwayvian
A portion of USA culture that believes: Whether if it came direct from POTUS his own self, or just from his minion, Kellyanne Conway, it may as well have come from the lips of God, as if it was just chiselled into stone by Moses, or as if it just got off the boat built by Noah.
Among the crowd gathered at Lincoln's monument to hear the latest directives were an entire Conwayvian chapter bused in from Florida, resplendent in their colourful robes and tinfoil helmets. One could say they were paying WRAPPED attention to their leader.
Conwayvian by You rReal Name August 16, 2020