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Weave's definitions

SPORTING MORE WOOD THAN A LUMBERYARD

to be in possession of a diamond cutter, or "rager."
After winning the lottery, I was sporting more wood than a lumberyard.
by weave January 8, 2004
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THE EMBRYONIC MANIFESTATIONS OF DEFECATION

That intestinal rumbling that occurs at the most inopportune of times, and is unequivocally indicative of a loaf brewing inside your intestinal tract.
While driving down the interstate, there was no obvious reason to take a pit stop; however, after approaching the sign that read "Next Service Area - 24 miles," then the onset of intestinal distress occurred, as I passed the sign.
I clenched my ass cheeks as tightly together as my gluteal muscles would permit, rolled down the windows, turned off the heater and radio, and asked all occupants to "shut the fuck up" until these embryonic manifestations of defecation subsided. Unfortunately, this didn't happen, as I unleashed with a rectal fury and shit my drawers!
by weave December 9, 2003
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PULCHRITUDINOUSLY-CHALLENGED

Butt-Ugly; Not A Sight For Sore Eyes, Fugly (when someone is so ugly that when they look out the window, they get arrested for mooning).
My ho is so pulchritudinously-challenged that the local bakery pays her to use her face, as they push it into the dough to make a batch of gorilla cookies. As a matter of fact, when she goes to the bathroom, she scares the shit out of the toilet, and when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras because her face could scare the maggots off of a gut pile!
by weave December 7, 2003
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SMUGGLIN' RAISINS

When a wench is sporting the hardest, most erect nipples in existence, which literally punches holes through their bra and shirt!
Must have been a bit nipply out tonite because Donna looks like she walked straight out of the shower and into the cold Arctic air...she was undoubtedly smugglin' raisins. Those nipples were so hard and long that you could have dialed a rotary phone with them sons-of-bitches!!!!!
by weave December 5, 2003
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A CABOOSE LIKE A MOOSE

Lakisha put the "b" in back; shit, she got a caboose like a moose...mutha-fuckin' thing has its own zip code!
by weave November 24, 2003
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The pinnacle of anger that has been attained by a jilted broad. Trust me, this is the most pissed off state of mind that a woman can get into...perhaps borderline homicidal...if not homicidal...so take heed, dawgs!
After being caught by his wife with his pants down with the neighbor in the back seat of his Chevette, Ray was subsequently "bobbited" and then castrated by his ball-and-chain during her storm of fury. Hell hath no fury like an unsuspecting mule about to be saddled with two, 10-foot kayaks.
by weave November 24, 2003
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TITSOON

A racially disparaging term for a black person...literally means "burnt end of the stick," or perhaps, a charcoal briquette. It may have something to do with the color, huh? This spelling is the phonetically-advantageous and more popularized version; however, the correct goombah spelling is "tizzun."
(SAME PRONUNCIATION)
Fuckin' titsoon stole 30 cartons of Newports, 115 Watermelons, 1,000 packets of multi-flavored Kool-Aid mix, 17 cases of Orange Crush, 122 bottles of Colt 45 Malt Liquor, a pallet of Banquet frozen fried chicken, and all the fuckin' spear ribs and collared greens the supermarket had in stock!
by weave November 22, 2003
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