Weave's definitions

shar-pei puppies

old, wrinkled boobs.

That octogenarian displayed her shar-pei puppies at the beach.

by weave March 18, 2003

One Eyed Willy's Eye Patch

a prophylactic or condom; jimmy hat.
(AKA, Gonad Goggles, Spunk or Splooge Spittoon, Pricknic Basket, or Uterus Excluderous)

Have to go to the pharmacy and pick up a couple of boxes of One-Eyed Willy's Eyepatches...remember, two nuts driving a hot rod should always wear a helmet!

by weave March 24, 2003

IT'S ALL RELATIVE

The award-winning, buzzword, catchphrase, or slogan, of life, and selection of sexual partners, in a small hick town with an abundance of trailer parks. Ya know, those small hamlets that, when upon entering the village, a big sign greets you and states, "Welcome to East Podunk, where the men are wife beaters and the sheep run scared."

EXAMPLE: Cobleskill, NY.

by weave September 17, 2003

mama san

one's girlfriend, usu. older

I'd love to shoot some hoops tonite, but I'm going over to mama san's for a little horizontal relaxation.

by weave March 21, 2003

NEEDLEDICK BUGFUCKER

a guy whose penis size is so small and virtually nonexistent, that he uses a magnifying glass to locate his stem, and a tweezers to masturbate.

After 5 minutes into the sex act, his wife asked him, "Is it in, yet?"
From that point forward, he earned the name, "Needledick Bugfucker."

by weave September 9, 2003

DIRT SLEEVE

the asshole

My girlfriend, Anal Alice, would rather take it up the dirt sleeve than the love canal. Christ, her leather donut had the circumference of a soda can, and then some!

by weave November 10, 2003

MATTRESS MUNCHER

a nancy boy or queer; a member of the "homogenized persuasion," an unadulterated, unmitigated, bred-in-the-bone, dyed-in-the wool, etched-in-stone
cruiser on the chocolate freeway.

Greenwich Village is the official "faggot capital of the world," so I am told, and features a plethora of mattress-munching cackpipe cosmonauts!

by weave September 7, 2003