Torch Bearer – A passenger in a vehicle who, in a selfless act of sensual yet sinful seduction, reaches across the center console and holds the shaft of the drivers erect penis as if it is the Olympic torch. Much like an Olympic torch bearer, a firm and steady grip at the base is essential to keep the torch steady and upright.
It can be seen as a silent symbol of comfort, encouragement, and romance — or a diabolical way to exert subtle power over a male BYU student.
It is the vehicular equivalent of soaking.
Torch bearing is one of the main causes of increased interest in off-road driving among unmarried BYU students. When off-roading over bumpy terrain, the torch bearer’s hand inevitably moves up and down—unintentionally, of course. Many BYU students are known to take the long and “adventurous” off-road route when dropping off their girlfriends after a date. During these rides, they can frequently be heard whispering: “Just hold it a little longer… hold it… hoooooold it.”
It can be seen as a silent symbol of comfort, encouragement, and romance — or a diabolical way to exert subtle power over a male BYU student.
It is the vehicular equivalent of soaking.
Torch bearing is one of the main causes of increased interest in off-road driving among unmarried BYU students. When off-roading over bumpy terrain, the torch bearer’s hand inevitably moves up and down—unintentionally, of course. Many BYU students are known to take the long and “adventurous” off-road route when dropping off their girlfriends after a date. During these rides, they can frequently be heard whispering: “Just hold it a little longer… hold it… hoooooold it.”
Jeremy’s body tensed when she reached across the console. Was this really happening? He had heard the legends of torch bearers, but he did not believe they were real. A smile soon spread across his face, Jill was indeed a torch bearer.
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The Jeep’s suspension wasn’t the most impressive demonstration of the night; Caitlyn’s torch bearer skills were on full display. It was clearly evident that she was not lying about the many compliments she’d received on her “excellent hand stability”.
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“I swear, Bishop,” Tyler said, sweating, “it was just a torch bearer situation… we weren’t even parked, I was driving and the trail was just so bumpy!”
———
Parker: “Yeah I have done it, let me tell you, when you’re on the Torch Bearer trail you test your suspension…and your restraint.”
The boys: 🫨
———
BYU’s off-roading club has unofficially changed its motto to: “Find a trail, bring the torch bearer, make it bumpy.”
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Nothing says, “I know you want to soak with me, but you’re driving and I cannot distract you too much,” like a firm yet caring grasp on his carrot ( penis 🙊).
——-
The Jeep’s suspension wasn’t the most impressive demonstration of the night; Caitlyn’s torch bearer skills were on full display. It was clearly evident that she was not lying about the many compliments she’d received on her “excellent hand stability”.
———
“I swear, Bishop,” Tyler said, sweating, “it was just a torch bearer situation… we weren’t even parked, I was driving and the trail was just so bumpy!”
———
Parker: “Yeah I have done it, let me tell you, when you’re on the Torch Bearer trail you test your suspension…and your restraint.”
The boys: 🫨
———
BYU’s off-roading club has unofficially changed its motto to: “Find a trail, bring the torch bearer, make it bumpy.”
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Nothing says, “I know you want to soak with me, but you’re driving and I cannot distract you too much,” like a firm yet caring grasp on his carrot ( penis 🙊).
by Volando Con El Viento April 09, 2025
From the vantage point of a rational human with functioning gustatory papillae, the lamb meat in all forms is the gastronomic equivalent of getting kicked in the testicles.
Imagine, if you will, meat that tastes like it’s been marinated in dirty old sweaters, perfumed with a hint of petting zoo after a spring rain, and garnished with the toxic secretions of a cane toad. The consumption of lamb is less a meal and more an elaborate prank gone wrong.
The texture? A true paradox. Somehow it is both sinewy and gelatinous, as though the animal was full of despair and sadness before its untimely demise. And the smell, how in tarnation can it smell that foul? The stench wafts through a home like the ghost of livestock past, clinging to drapes, walls, and assaulting the olfactory senses of every poor soul who is in the vicinity.
Supposed connoisseurs will wax poetic about its “earthy richness” or “rich, robust, and well-balanced flavor” which, when translated from nonsense speak to to honest English, means “sweaty mutton disguised as fine dining”. It is not “delicate,” it is despicable; it is not “robust,” but a belligerent assault on the taste buds.
Lamb should only be served if your guests have wronged you terribly or if you have lost all hope in the potential of food bringing you, or others, joy.
In conclusion, a lamb as a dish is best served NEVER. It is a betrayal of the palate, a disgrace to the kitchen, and a compelling argument for vegetarianism.
Imagine, if you will, meat that tastes like it’s been marinated in dirty old sweaters, perfumed with a hint of petting zoo after a spring rain, and garnished with the toxic secretions of a cane toad. The consumption of lamb is less a meal and more an elaborate prank gone wrong.
The texture? A true paradox. Somehow it is both sinewy and gelatinous, as though the animal was full of despair and sadness before its untimely demise. And the smell, how in tarnation can it smell that foul? The stench wafts through a home like the ghost of livestock past, clinging to drapes, walls, and assaulting the olfactory senses of every poor soul who is in the vicinity.
Supposed connoisseurs will wax poetic about its “earthy richness” or “rich, robust, and well-balanced flavor” which, when translated from nonsense speak to to honest English, means “sweaty mutton disguised as fine dining”. It is not “delicate,” it is despicable; it is not “robust,” but a belligerent assault on the taste buds.
Lamb should only be served if your guests have wronged you terribly or if you have lost all hope in the potential of food bringing you, or others, joy.
In conclusion, a lamb as a dish is best served NEVER. It is a betrayal of the palate, a disgrace to the kitchen, and a compelling argument for vegetarianism.
Jacob: You should come over for dinner tonight.
Patricia: That sounds lovely, what are we having?
Jacob: A lamb dinner, I was thinking a roast leg of lamb.
Patricia: I just threw up in my mouth.
Jacob: Lamb Souvlaki?
Patricia: I would rather starve.
Jacob: Lamb chops?
Patricia: Que distinguida.
Jacob: Lamb kofta?
Patricia: Que feo.
Jacob: Lamb Shank Ragu?
Patricia: Ohhhh, you know what? I just remembered, I am busy tonight, sorry.
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Fact: There is literally no version of lamb that is not completely disgusting
Patricia: That sounds lovely, what are we having?
Jacob: A lamb dinner, I was thinking a roast leg of lamb.
Patricia: I just threw up in my mouth.
Jacob: Lamb Souvlaki?
Patricia: I would rather starve.
Jacob: Lamb chops?
Patricia: Que distinguida.
Jacob: Lamb kofta?
Patricia: Que feo.
Jacob: Lamb Shank Ragu?
Patricia: Ohhhh, you know what? I just remembered, I am busy tonight, sorry.
-----------------------------------
Fact: There is literally no version of lamb that is not completely disgusting
by Volando Con El Viento April 20, 2025
A leafy green which is nutritionally dense, being a particularly good source for Vitamin K, iron and folate.
by Volando Con El Viento May 06, 2024
A classic Central Australian car. Its heyday was in the late 1990's and early 2000's when it was the vehicle of choice for fun and adventurous youth. Its capable engine and smooth ride made it much loved, but at times it was known to have questionable breaks, sometimes requiring the use of a handbrake to slow the vehicle. The spacious interior let to comfort while travelling but could facilitate mischief if parked late at night.
The other day I saw Anna driving down Tuncks Road in her Subaru Leone, she was going so fast she didn't even hear me yell "aaaaayyee budju".
by Volando Con El Viento May 04, 2024
A feeling that combines the deep pleasure of enjoyment with the lighthearted happiness of joyfully; experiencing somethings with both delight and exuberance.
Usually experienced during or after performing/receiving cunnilingus.
Usually experienced during or after performing/receiving cunnilingus.
Lobo: Yesterday was great, I was enjoyfully wrapped around you (and your head).
Pato: (winks) Yeah, I love when my head is between your thighs, 👅🐺 is so enjoyful.
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As I was licking her punani, she enjoyfully gasped and moaned; legs shaking with pleasure and body tense with delight. .
After she was fully pleasured by my tongue, she looked at me with her eyes enjoyfully shining. She was the picture of beauty.
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Wrapped in a blanket on a rainy afternoon, we read poetry aloud enjoyfully, lost in the sound of each other's voices.
Pato: (winks) Yeah, I love when my head is between your thighs, 👅🐺 is so enjoyful.
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As I was licking her punani, she enjoyfully gasped and moaned; legs shaking with pleasure and body tense with delight. .
After she was fully pleasured by my tongue, she looked at me with her eyes enjoyfully shining. She was the picture of beauty.
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Wrapped in a blanket on a rainy afternoon, we read poetry aloud enjoyfully, lost in the sound of each other's voices.
by Volando Con El Viento April 09, 2025
The marsupial mole is a small, burrowing mammal endemic to the sandy deserts and arid grasslands of central Australia, primarily found in the Northern Territory and Western Australia. It is also known as the "itjaritjari" to the Arrernte people of Central Australia. Marsupial moles are small and elusive creatures, seeing one in the wild brings 5 years of good luck.
Due to its beauty and supposed mystical power the delicate fur is a prized commodity, commonly used as an appliqué for the loincloths of men who need to compensate for other “deficiencies” in their life.
The marsupial mole was a marvel to behold, with its silky fur and tiny, shovel-like claws adapted for digging through the sandy soil.
Due to its beauty and supposed mystical power the delicate fur is a prized commodity, commonly used as an appliqué for the loincloths of men who need to compensate for other “deficiencies” in their life.
The marsupial mole was a marvel to behold, with its silky fur and tiny, shovel-like claws adapted for digging through the sandy soil.
Anna’s mind wandered, eventually returning to the thought of the golden fur of a marsupial mole hanging off his loincloth. As this crossed her mind she let out a little giggle and scoff “what a dag”, trying to hide her secret desire for this loincloth clad man in her mind.
by Volando Con El Viento May 06, 2024
The vehicle of choice for adventurous young ladies in Central Australia. The Leone is such a pleasure to drive that drivers and passengers are known to spontaneously sing and dance while inside the vehicle. To drive a Leone it requires skill and bravery as there is a propensity for the breaks to not work properly, resulting in the driving needing to utilize the handbrake to avoid ending up in the Todd River.
Anna better slow down in that Subaru Leone when she is driving down Stott Terrance or she will end up in the Todd.
by Volando Con El Viento April 27, 2024