Skip to main content

Definitions by Virgin Suicides

half jacked-off

a synonym for half-assed, half baked, et al. Usually used to render scorn on a famous person/celebrity who, for all their glitter, charisma and talent really puts forth a miserable effort in said situation.
Ben Affleck's cinematic efforts of late have been generally of the half jacked-off variety.

zit bust 

akin to drug bust; the act (often violent) of removing offending acne (or zits) from bodily surface either autonomously or by third party.
Dude 1 : Hey man, you got some mean looking' acne all over your back ! Why don'tcha do a zit bust or somethin' ?
Dude 2 : Good idea. Since I can't reach most of them myself, do you wan't to pop them for me ?

Dude 1: Me, bust your zits for you ? Man, that's muthafuckin' gross !!! Just call the zit police !
Dude 2 : The zit cops ? I was thinking about maybe attending a zit popper's convention and having someone there do it for free, as a demonstration.
Dude 1 : Nah, take too long. Just call the fuckin' zit police. They'll remove them muthafuckers fast !
zit bust by Virgin Suicides June 14, 2017

wreck your world 

hyperbolic, highly intense interjection often used at the end of a heated argument between two people (usually intimate partners) in the hope of one person trumping the insult just previously mouthed by the other.
Man : You KNOW I wasn't with Christine last night. I was at Bill's helping him repair his garage door !
Woman : The hell you were ! Donna told me this morning she SAW the both of you at Starbucks last night around 9 p.m. !
Man : Hell if I was !! She's a goddam liar and you KNOW it !!
Woman : Do NOT call my best friend a liar !! I'll call your boss and tell him how you embezzled $2000 from the company till last month !!
Man : Oh REALLY ? Well I'll call your mother and tell her how much of an alcoholic you've become in the last six weeks !!!
Woman : Don't you threaten me, you sonofabitch !!! I'll fuck you up good !!!
Man : Yeah ? And I'll wreck your world !!!

naked makeout lady 

Nerd : hey, wanna be my naked makeout lady for the forseeable future ?
Woman : hmmm, that sounds like nerdspeak for something. Since I don't have my 'Nerdspeak To English' dictionary with me, what does it mean ?
Nerd : well, in your language it means 'female fuck buddy'.
Woman : Oh. Well, no thank you.
Nerd : Well, have intercourse in that direction, you birther of canine puppies.
Woman : More nerdspeak ?
Nerd : Yep.
Woman : what could 'have intercourse in that direction, you birther of canine puppies' possibly mean ?
Nerd : it means, 'fuck you, bitch' !

kansas driver 

1. a term derived from a true story based on the first two owners of automobiles in the state of Kansas (one in Kansas City, the other on the far western prairie ) who drove across state only to crash head long into each other despite a relative plethora of roads and open spaces.

2. a person who will sit or stand right next to you or crowd you when there is practically no one else in the movie theater, on an empty four way street corner, or any other situation where there is plenty of room to maneuver but said person behaves as if in a crowded elevator or phone booth.
Man, I hate going to the movies at the theater uptown - nothing but kansas drivers. And they're everywhere on the street corners in that area, too !

sky pappy 

He be my pappy and he be livin' in the sky, so's he be my sky pappy !
sky pappy by Virgin Suicides May 27, 2017
1. Acronym for the National Invitation Tournament, a men's college basketball tournament held in New York City's Madison Square Garden every March at season's end.
2. As it is considered secondary to the more prestigious NCAA men's tourney, it is often thought of as the championship for 73rd place, as the NCAA selects the top 72 college teams in the country, leaving the NIT to choose from the next best 32 teams.
3. What most average American Joes are actually living to achieve in their rather ordinary, mundane lives, whether consciously aware of it or not.
Gus : y'know Zach, when you really get down to it, most of us muckety-mucks are struggling every day just to get that NIT bid of life.
Zach : what ? Y'mean we're all out here battling for a spot between 73rd and 105th place ?

Gus : Yep.
Zach : you could be right, partner.
NIT by Virgin Suicides May 21, 2017