Uncle Joosie's definitions

Resting Vagina Hands

when a male politician is so scared by a woman that their default position is resting their hands in the shape of a vagina.

Donald Trump met with Angie Merkel and was so frightened that he went right to his Resting Vagina Hands.

by Uncle Joosie July 11, 2018

What brings you on?

that douchey, passive-aggressive Tinder question

after exchanging niceties and compliments with his new match, Bartholomew saw the dreaded "What brings you on?" pop up in his Tinder chat with Beatrice. "my fucking god," he thought, "why do people ask that dumb fucking question? what brings me on? I used my fingers swiping an app that probably sells my location data. fuck off, lady" and he immediately unmatched

by Uncle Joosie May 2, 2022

Fly Girl Pence

What Mike Pence turns into after a fly lands on his head during VP debates

repressed stuck-up Christian Mike Pence—JC Penney catalog-idea of almost-handsome—debated Kamala Harris and had a house fly land on his head. When the fly's regurgitation interacted with Pence's hairspray he instantly transformed into Fly Girl Pence; filed for divorce from Karen; and admitted being in a long-term affair with a fella named Eduardo.

by Uncle Joosie October 8, 2020

Whitetitlement

when Meg McCain spews nonsense "The View"

Meg McCain tried dragging Whoopi Goldberg with Whitetitlement and was shut down quickly; Whoopi said 'Meg, you in danger girl. stop it'

by Uncle Joosie December 16, 2019

Upcycled Nutbags

corrupt, right-wing operatives who keep fucking shit up over and over

Chief Justice John Roberts is a poster child for Upcycled Nutbags. he worked for Dubya in Bush v. Gore and, after Junior stole the presidency in 2000, he was upcycled to Chief Justice of the Supreme Court—and continues his work for right-wing assholes to present day.

by Uncle Joosie April 3, 2024

Errant Beavers

when you Google cunt memes to own your best pal and the results are shocking

Clifton was chatting via Hangouts to Paul, his best pal, and they were razzing each other as per usual. Clifton needed fresh, cutting material so he popped over to Google for cunt memes. instead of funny gifs and pics the results returned lots of Errant Beavers and females in repose.

by Uncle Joosie October 6, 2021

Stretch & Shake

A body reset for a dog.

When Brady the lab got up from sleeping he did a stretch & shake to wake himself up.

by Uncle Joosie May 20, 2018